Random Glimpses Into My World

Today is the day.

2010-03-05T09:25:00.002-05:00

Well, I've been a COMPLETE SLACKER and in the craziness of the last few months, neglected to update my blog. So if anyone is still out there, here's the lowdown. I leave for India TODAY!

I've had a mix of emotions over the last few weeks.

excited | I can barely contain my excitement about getting the opportunity to return to India!
nervous | Last time I went to India, my stomach wasn't really a fan. But this nervousness has passed and I'm ready to roll!
unworthy | When I stop and really process what is about to happen, I feel totally unworthy. It's hard to fathom that God could use flawed people for his glory, but he does, all the time.
thankful | I'm so thankful that God extends his grace to all of us - his power and love is what will truly make our time in India successful.
overwhelmed | God choose me. If he hadn't instructed me to go, I wouldn't be.
joyfilled | God choose me. Just like he choose the other 29 people who are going on this trip. We're all willing to lose ourselves to bring him glory - so I KNOW amazing things are going to happen. God has already showed up in so many ways.
filled | The love, encouragement and prayers from so many people around me has my tank filled. I'm ready to head out and empty my tank on the Indian people. If I love them well, as Jesus has called us to do, then I have succeeded. And I couldn't do it without the support of so many amazing people.

While I'm in India, I will have some limited access to a phone. Obviously contacting my family is my number one priority. But I don't want any of you to be left out either. So, when contact is made, my sister will be updating my facebook fan page here. One of my good friends who has a spouse on the team may be updating with the news she hears as well. We also have a team blog - keep checking here for updates and pictures from the entire team!

Well, I'm out. Got some Bible reading and prayer I want to dive into before we leave.

See ya on the flip side!

10 Days in India...

2009-11-16T15:57:00.008-05:00

Three years ago my view of the world radically changed. I left my comfortable "bubble" of Northern Indiana and traveled to southern India with a team from Granger Community Church. I had never traveled overseas, let alone to a third world country and I never expected to come back a different person. But I did. I left a piece of my heart with the people of India. I came back with a love for a broken and hurting country that somehow managed to turn my world upside down. A love for a group of people who inspired me to be more like them: giving. loving. sacrificial. authentic. strong.

And in March I get the opportunity to head back to India...and I couldn't be more excited.

This time I'll be headed to a village called Kalavai - a village that is considered the lowest of the low, a village that most wouldn't even notice if it disappeared, a village that without intervention from people of "power" would never have any hope of changing. A few years ago GCC heard about Kalavai and decided to intervene - to use the power that comes with just being Americans to change the future of this village. Every few months teams from GCC head to Kalavai to help them start and run businesses, assist in building homes, teaching the children English, providing filters for clean water and many more projects. As soon as I heard about the Conversational English Team I was all in. I knew that was exactly where I belonged. What I didn't realize though was the power behind learning English.

Ironically, in India if you want to attend college, you must speak English. All courses are not in Hindi or Tamil, but English. English is considered the "trade language" of India! Who knew?! Obviously the ten days of our trip is not enough to teach our highly complicated language, but we'll be working with local church planters who have already started the ball rolling and will continue the program after we leave. And we are bringing something with us most Indians don't have access to - native speakers of the language...us. As someone who had to study foreign languages in school, conversing with someone is the best way to learn. I can't imagine a better way to spend 10 days.

But even as a "seasoned veteran," this trip will be vastly different for me, and your prayers would not only be greatly appreciated, but greatly needed as well. Three years ago my stomach did not transition well to the long days of travel and life in India. I had trouble eating and came back 13 pounds lighter than when I left 10 days before. Not exactly the healthiest way to lose weight, and not exactly part of the experience I want to relive. Knowing now what I didn't know then is obviously to my benefit and I'm stepping up my game in the next few months of preparation. Also, during my last trip, I was lucky enough to always have bathroom facilities - strange bathroom facilities at times, but still, always accessible. This time I will not. At all. For days. It's hard for me to even fathom life in the middle of nowhere with a tent and a bush. But I know I'm supposed to be headed to India, and I know with the power of prayer and a little stubbornness on my part, I can handle it. If you are willing, please pray for these two things for me specifically, as well as safe travel for our team, for God to use us in whatever ways he can and for the people of Kalavai.

And as always, a trip like this doesn't come cheap. With the economy the way it is, travel costs are up. Currently, the cost of my trip is $3,000. If you want the opportunity to help send me to India, you can mail a donation using the attached form, or hop on the web at gccwired.com/missiontrips. For those of you who are curious and like to plan ahead, half of my support is due on January 18, with the trip paid in full by February 22.

We want to bring the kingdom of God from up there, to down here on earth. One little village in India at a time. It's already begun and I can't wait to be a part of it. And by supporting me in prayer or in finances, you will become a part of it too. You will be influencing the lives of the people of Kalavai. You will be a world changer as well. You will be bringing up there, down here.

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If you want to see some of the videos that captured my heart, and of the work being done in Kalavai, you can find them here. These are the people I will soon be meeting. The people I will be serving. The people who will be radically changing my life. The people whose lives you will be changing as well. If you have any questions or want the web address to follow along on my journey of preparation, more information can be found periodically here on my blog or on my Facebook fanpage.

Reflections of India

2009-11-16T15:19:00.005-05:00

I've been thinking about India a lot lately...a lot. I decided to look back on some of my thoughts after I returned from my trip three years ago.

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Well it has been almost two months since our return from India and here I am still trying to process everything I saw and experienced. I wonder if I will ever truly be "done" processing...

Last night Lindsey (one of my fellow India travelers) and I were talking about the pace of our lives. Somehow, without our knowledge, our lives have gone crazy. It seems like my life is over flowing with too many things to do and not enough time to do it in. Slowly, the pace of my life has increased back to warp speed. And it spawned a conversation about the pace of life in India...

India is a hard country and culture to put into words. As I have told many of you, even though we were actually only gone for 10 days, it felt like we were gone for at least a month. There was so many things packed into our days that it often felt like one day was really two or three. I believe most of this is simply because of we were "guests" from America and everyone wanted to see us, have a chance to talk with us and to have us pray for them. There is kind of a relaxed urgency in their way of life. The church planters we were with packed their days with visiting people and ministering in villages and homes, wanting nothing more than to love these people and help them to meet or know Christ better. Yet at the same time, there was always downtime to spend with their closest family and friends. Every day we were in the villages we "took rest" - some of us napped, some of us just laid down our heads, but there was always down time. How ironic is it that I had to travel across the world to see an example of relaxed urgency. And even after I experienced it and yearned to be like that upon my return home, somewhere along the line I returned to my old habits. Packing my minutes, hours, days and weeks with stuff, without "taking rest" every day.

How desperately do I want to remember how the Indians lived, and learn to emulate it into my daily life.

Going Back...

2009-10-31T14:38:00.002-04:00

A few days ago I found myself going back through my blog - for a completely random not so important purpose that I am currently pleading the 5th on - and started to realize how many things I have forgotten. Ironically some of those posts are starting to smack me right upside the head. Who knew?

This one really hit me. Partially because I originally stole it off a friends blog and partially because I can't for the life of me remember who it was who wrote it. It occurs to me that maybe it's supposed to be that way...

The stuff in this short little post is enough to really get you thinking. I know it has gotten me thinking once again...

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One of my amazing friends recently posted a blog - her words left me in awe. It spoke the words that many feel but never form themselves.

Since many of you may not be privy to be her friend on facebook, I decided to "steal" her words to share them with all of you. Check it out and see what I mean :

I'm sitting in a coffee shop, surrounded by many, yet feeling alone and i'm wondering... what things in life are truely worth the risk? I take risks every day.
I risk being late every time i hit my snooze button.
I risk getting a ticket every time i speed.
I risk burning my mouth every time i take a sip of coffee.
I risk falling every time i wear high heels.
But what's really so risky about these things? So what? I could be late, get a speeding ticket, lose some taste buds, fall on my face or all of these things in the same day and there really isn't going to be that much damage.
Then there are the things that seem really risky... too risky.
Telling someone you love something ugly about yourself.
Trusting someone you want to love.
Trusting someone in general.
Loving someone in general.
Allowing yourself to be known well enough to be truly loved by someone.
So what heppens if i continue fearing things like love, trust and being known? I guess i'm not really sure. I do think that a life w/o risk is a life not worth living. And i don't be the i-didn't-brush-my-teeth-last-night kind of risk. I mean the i-could-get-my-heart-ripped-out-again kind of risk, or the i-may-die-trying-this kind of risk. Doesn't the size of the risk say something about the size of the possible pay off?
Anyway, i guess i'm just deciding to risk again. Maybe that means trust, maybe that means love or maybe that means letting myself be known. Whatever it is, i think i can feel it coming... i'm not sure i'm ready, but i'm not going to run.

Waiting

2009-10-27T22:02:00.000-04:00

I've never been someone who's good at waiting. From birth, showing up two weeks early, I've always had a hard time with waiting. Don't get me wrong, I've had to do my fair share of waiting. One would think that I would have gotten used to it by now, but unfortunately it doesn't work that way.

For years I took God out of the picture. If he asked me to wait, I just went ahead with my own plan. I didn't want to wait, I couldn't see how God could make anything better come out of making me wait. I always thought "Hey, he's God! If he really wanted such and such to happen, he could just go ahead and do it right now." So in my warped sense of reality, if God didn't act now, he'd turn my plan into his plan and we'd all live happily ever after.

Then a few years ago I finally tried it God's way. I waited. And waited. And waited some more. And one day, God blew me away. His plan was better than anything I could have even possibly fathomed for myself. The period of waiting was worth it.

Waiting still isn't easy for me, and I doubt it ever will be. The greatest things in life are rarely the "easy" things. There is one thing I know - I don't want to cut God's story short in my life because waiting seems too hard. Once you take that chance, and actually wait on God and his plan for your life, it'll blow you away too. And the next time you must wait...and the time after that...and the time after that...you know it'll be worth it then too. It always is. Because He always does everything right - everything.

Isaiah 30:18
But God’s not finished. He’s waiting around to be gracious to you.
He’s gathering strength to show mercy to you.
God takes the time to do everything right—everything.
Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones.

Darth MC Hammer

2009-07-16T15:05:00.001-04:00

These guys have skillz...

30 Days

2009-07-13T22:06:00.002-04:00

Last week at our staff meeting we were broached with a question - if you found out you would die in 30 days, what would you do?

Some might think this is an easy question to answer.

But it's harder than at first glance.

It's hard to fathom that your life could suddenly end in one month's time. Would you want to know? Would it hinder how you live your life? Even if you did know, would you choose to continue life as it is? What might you do differently? Who would you spend time with? What would you do?

It's something to think about. If you're curious, here's my thoughts on my last 30 days:

I wouldn't complain so much about getting up early. I would want to have as many waking hours as possible with the people I love. I wouldn't want, on Day 29, to look back and wish I had just a few more hours.
I would visit as many family members and close friends as possible. Not just to sit around and mope together, but to make memories. To have random fun, take tons of pictures and laugh our heads off. To love each other without abandon or fear.
I would say things that need to be said, but have instead chosen the easy road. Things like:
I'd write letters to those I am leaving behind - to give them a piece of me to hold onto when I'm gone.
I'd make hilariously stupid videos to help people to laugh in the first few days after I'm gone.
I'd put together a playlist for my funeral - and insist it be used. Music full of love, hope and laughter.

Last week, when asked this question, there were two things I wanted to do: spend time with my loved ones, and sell everything & travel the world.

But, when I'm being completely honest with myself, traveling is not what is important to me. People are. The people I love are. Traveling would be the easy road again - see everyone, say goodbye, and then distract myself from the pain of what's to come. Of knowing I had a short time left to live. And that is not what I want my last days to look like when I stand before God. And I would never want to put my family and friends through that added pain.

So while my list is different than I originally thought, this list is me. This is who I am. My only question now is, why am I not doing a better job of these things when my days are not numbered.

Stand By Me

2009-06-25T23:39:00.002-04:00

I love music.

I love the emotions a few minutes of notes and lyrics can evoke inside of me.

This song never ceases to make me close my eyes, listen to the words and feel the music deep in my soul. Until I saw this video, I didn't realize how much stronger my reaction could be.

Take 5 minutes. Watch this video. Don't watch the first 20 seconds and then shake your head at me - watch the whole thing. Trust me - you'll thank me later.

Whoa

2009-06-10T22:06:00.002-04:00

As you can probably tell by the lack of activity on my blog recently, I've been busy. Not just everyday busy. BIG busy. Remind yourself to breathe busy. Leave town for the weekend as the only way to recharge busy.

But that hasn't kept thoughts from spinning and blog posts from being composed in my brain. I got stuff to say. Just no time or energy to say it right now.

I will leave you this to ponder on:

Sometimes I think we take for granted being part of something bigger than ourselves...

Experiments in Baking

2009-05-25T23:00:00.003-04:00

Tonight I decided to take an idea from the Food Network, and experiment to make it my own.

And I succeeded. In a big way.

It was fun, and my taste buds are pretty darn happy if I do say so myself.

At the request of one of my brilliant friends, I have created a photo journey of my experiment in baking. I don't recommend viewing this journey while hungry - your stomach may try to gnaw its way out of your body in an effort to eat the images right off your screen. Consider yourself warned.

A few random things...

2009-05-23T17:01:00.003-04:00

Just got back from vacation - had a great relaxing time. Many stories and some pictures to come. (P.S. God showed up. I love when he does that!)
Discovered a new container of Cool Whip on the fridge. I have a weak spot for Cool Whip - especially right out of the container.
Cool Whip tastes better when using my finger as the utensil. Not the same on a spoon.
Same goes for creamy peanut butter.
Not so for crunchy. Spoon all the way.
When I buy anything new, I have to wear it or use it right away. Just got a bread maker at my friend's garage sale and it's killing me that I haven't got to use it yet. I've owned it for all of 4+ hours.
Finally read this. What the heck took me so long!? Seriously, loved it, loved the writing, loved the storyline, loved it.
If you call my phone, but after I answer realize you dialed the wrong number, say so. Don't just hang up. Frustrates the crap outta me.
I love shoes - but I love being barefoot more. Strange, I know.
Yes, in the middle of writing this blog post, my phone rang and they said nothing, spawning on the above mentioned frustration.

Leavin' On A Jet Plane...

2009-05-11T22:16:00.004-04:00

In 34+ hours I'll be on a plane headed to Dallas - and after typing that slight panic is setting in because I have yet to pack or organize anything! At least I have a list going... but that's besides the point.

Wednesday morning I get to travel with some of my amazing co-workers (and assorted family members) to Dallas for a conference for work. A few of us will give mini-breakout type presentations, my boss is giving the keynote, and we all get to have some great team time while learning exciting new things about our church database. (You're jealous, I know)

But I have an extra reason to be excited for this trip ahead - because a year and a half ago my dad moved to Dallas.

Are you putting the pieces together yet?

So Friday afternoon at 4:30 my vacation starts and I get to spend multiple days with my dad and stepmom - and I couldn't be more excited!

Let's just hope my travels are far less exciting than last year...

A Must Read...

2009-04-30T23:09:00.002-04:00

It's not often that a blog post completely stops me in my tracks and causes me to scroll back up and read again.

Today that happened.

Take the three minutes to go here, and read this post. It just might speak to you too.

Who Am I?

2009-04-28T23:13:00.003-04:00

As I eluded to earlier, I've been processing this question a lot lately:

Who am I when no one is looking?
Somewhere in my teenage years, I lost "me". I lost who I really was at my core. It was just easier to feel accepted if I became a mirror of those people around me, because then, the chance of rejection was less. Sadly enough, I stayed that way for way too long. So much so that when asked, I didn't always know what my favorite tv show, or song artist, or movie, or restaurant even was anymore.

One day I sat down, and inspired by the movie Runaway Bride, I made a list. I figured out what I truly liked, and, what I really didn't like at all. Very sad that it had to come to that, but yet that is where my journey began. It was the first time I really thought about who I am if no one is around.

Since then I've revisited that question many times, only each time on a different level.

Most recently I stopped to think about my relationship with Christ, and decided it was time for a little "check-up". Here's a few of the questions I took the time to stop and ask myself:

Who am I when no one is looking?
Who do I, or what do I worship when no one is around?
Am I fully leaning on Christ when the sun is set, the computer is off, the phone is silent and it's just me and him?
Do I take my own advice? Is He my strength during times of sorrow? Do I praise Him in my times of joy? Do I praise Him in my times of sorrow?
Is He my number one priority in a "me-centered" world?
Do I have faith in His plan? If I pray for rain, do I go out and buy an umbrella?
Am I just going through the "motions" when others are around? Or is this truly who I am at my core?

These are the questions I've asked myself, and yes, I have my answers. I have a pretty good idea of who I am, where I am at, and where I need to be. We are all a work in progress - and I gotta say, I'm proud of how far God has brought me. A few years ago, my answers to these questions would have been different. And a few years from now, they will be as well.

Sometimes it's worth the time to stop and re-evaluate who you are when no one is looking. Because that's the person God sees. That is who you are at your core. Choose to be the real you. And if you hide "you" because you're ashamed, then take steps to change it. Yes it seems like a long road ahead, but take it from someone who was so lost just a few years ago, it's so worth it.

Light Hearted Randomness

2009-04-26T21:05:00.002-04:00

In no order what-so-ever, I give you, random things about me...

I need to have both smooth and crunchy peanut butter in the cupboard. My texture of choice varies depending on what I'm eating.
My niece said my name for the first time this weekend - melted my heart!
I sometimes force myself to do something I don't like to, or don't want to, do. I used to always give in to fear, this is one of the ways I keep fear from ruling my life.
I watch more tv on the Internet than on do an actual tv.
When I'm driving in the car, and searching for a radio station, if the first thing I hear is an ad, I keep on surfing. But if I'm already listening to a station, I don't necessarily always switch away during commercials and chatty djs.
I used to hate the quiet. Now I not only enjoy it sometimes, I need it.
It took me years to realize who I really am, only to discover that it will always be changing, growing, evolving.

A Glimpse of My Thoughts

2009-04-24T22:26:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago during a bible class this question got brought up:

Who am I when no one is looking?
More thoughts on this later...

The conversation...

2009-04-23T21:53:00.001-04:00

This just happened:

Mom - "A shower sounds nice, but I don't have the energy."

Me - "Um...then how are we going to drive for the next 6 hours?"

You just never know...

2009-04-23T21:50:00.002-04:00

It's almost 10 o'clock at night.

Normally I'm getting ready for bed about now.

Currently, I am getting ready to drive for 6+ hours. To the Indianapolis airport. And back.

This could make for an interesting night.

Why I'm excited for Saturday...

2009-04-22T15:03:00.004-04:00

This season...

2009-04-20T22:18:00.003-04:00

Life can change in an instant. One minute you know exactly where you are headed and why, knowing with all your heart you are following God's prompting and will, then suddenly, the road ends. A choice was made. The road is no more. And there you stand. Confused. Hurt. Lonely. Wondering where to go now. Waiting for God to recalculate and get you moving again. Only, for this moment, God is silent.

This is the season I'm in right now, in this instant, as I type. And I'll be brutally honest - it's hard. Really hard.

I never quite understood what people meant when they spoke about hearing God's voice, talking with God instead of at Him, knowing His will for their lives. It's a very abstract concept when you have never experienced it. Then, a few years ago, I heard it. It took me a while to realize who it was, but it was Him - my heavenly father. I didn't hear his voice about everything and I didn't hear it often, but I was starting to be able to recognize it. It's like how you recognize the people around you by their voices or their movements. You know it's them because you've spent enough time around them to just know.

I won't say my life became perfect the minute I started to recognize God's voice -- it didn't. I prayed for God to tell me what His will was -- and He did. But for a while, I fought it. I prayed for a "flashing neon sign" to tell me what to do...and when He gave me one, I ran. Because it was scary. But I learned to take steps in the direction He was guiding me. And the more faithful and obedient I was, the more He spoke. We were in constant conversation.

Then one day, it all changed.

Because we don't live this life alone - others are on the journey with us, and God gave us all free will. And the road ended. The neon sign faded and died. There I stood, not knowing where to go next. Waiting patiently to hear God's voice for guidance, only to hear nothing at all.

I know there are times when God chooses to remain silent. I know this, but it doesn't make it any easier when you have gone from climbing high on a mountain, to suddenly skidding to a halt at the bottom of a valley. Not knowing how to navigate this new territory, how to continue to remain faithful, how to not lose hope in God's will for your life, how to trust that God will recalculate a new path.

Over the last few weeks I've learned that even though God is not talking, He's still with me. He's next to me on this journey, and He's hurting with me. He's shown himself to me a few times, reminded me of His love and power and spoken through many around me. But just as you miss the voice of your mommy or daddy as a child when they've been away, I miss hearing God's voice.

Then yesterday I heard a song on the radio that I had all but forgot about. A song that spoke to exactly to where I am right here, right now. I Still Believe by Jeremy Camp:

"I've never felt so torn before
Seems I don't know where to start"

"Though the questions still fog up my mind
With promises I still seem to bear"

"Well the only place I can go is into your arms
Where I throw to you my feeble prayers well in brokenness"

"I still believe in your faithfulness
I still believe in your truth
I still believe in your holy word
Even when I don't see, I still believe"

This is my now. This is where I'm at. This is the season I'm living in.

I may not see God as I have been used to seeing Him. I may not hear God as I have been used to hearing Him. But I still believe. I still cry out to Him. I still run to Him. I still trust Him with all that I am. And I know, in His perfect timing, I'll hear His voice once again.

Updated!

2009-04-20T21:31:00.003-04:00

I just updated my blog template - somehow a fresh start makes me feel like blogging even more...

Stay tuned.

Risk

2009-04-08T18:55:00.002-04:00

I wouldn't say I'm a risk-taker.

If anything for many years I've been a risk-avoider.

I don't think I'm much different than anyone else - we all avoid risk for one main reason: to prevent getting hurt.

Sometimes this is a good thing. Like when you want to jump out of your treehouse as a child or throw flammable objects into a bonfire.

But the risks I tend to avoid the most aren't the ones that leave outward scars or can be healed with a band-aid.

In the last few days I've realized something. While I've deluded myself into thinking I've just been protecting myself, I've actually been hurting myself even more. Ironic isn't it. Over the years my self protection has served me well, but I came to realize that I've also been avoiding risks I should be taking.

I've decided taking risks is like weight lifting. Yes, it's tearing your muscles, and it causes some pain, but you end up stronger in the end. But you have to be smart with who you trust to train you. I could easily do permanent, unhealthy damage to my body if I listen to someone who doesn't know what they are talking about. Quite similar to risk taking. Risks can cause pain, but when you listen to God's guidance on which risks to take, and do so with Him by your side, you'll end up stronger in the end.

Recently God asked me if I trusted Him enough to step out and take a risk. A risk that could possibly invoke some serious pain. I can't say that I jumped right in an obeyed. I didn't. It took Him asking me over and over to realize that no matter the outcome, I needed to trust God, I needed to obey and I needed to let go of my fears. And so I did. Yes, I experienced pain. But I took the risk knowing that is what God was asking of me.

It wasn't like the heavens opened up and host of heavenly angels began singing the Hallelujah Chorus. But it did change me. It made me stronger. It made me lean on God. It made me closer to Him. It made me a better version of me.

And that, to me, made it all worth it.

What risks in your life are you not taking?

Where I'm At...

2009-04-08T11:46:00.002-04:00

One of my friends just recently wrote a blog post about her life - oddly enough it expressed exactly where I am at right now as well. So I'm copying it here and giving her some link love. My thoughts follow.

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Slow down

At the beginning of the school year I set a goal to create some space in my schedule for rest. That hasn't happened much this semester. In fact I had been running so fast and doing so much I couldn't hear myself think.

Last summer a friend of mine pulled me aside and asked how I was REALLY doing? I was so caught off guard I didn't know how to respond. This friend was patient enough to give me some space to answer but the truth was I had no clue. I had been running forward so hard for so long I had never taken the time to think about it. My friend knew this and quickly reminded me how important slowing down to rest is. They were painful words to hear at the time but words that hold truth and love.

A few weeks ago I talked with this friend again and was asked the same question. I stumbled over my words to come up with a quick answer and change the subject as quickly as possible. As I drove home after that conversation I realized how distracted I had become by life. The words of last summer's conversation replayed over and over in my head. Here I was again flying through life without taking time to breathe.

So I started this year's spring break with nothing on my schedule. Since Friday afternoon I haven't done much. I've met a few friends. Spent lots of time just chatting with Jesus and reading. It has been glorious. I'm so glad I started break this way.

I read this today, which is what inspired this post, and thought I would share it.

How kind the Lord is! How good he is!
So merciful, this God of ours!
The Lord protects those of childlike faith;
I was facing death, and he saved me.
Let my soul be at rest again,
for the Lord has been good to me.
He has saved me from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling.
And so I walk in the Lord’s presence
as I live here on earth!
Psalm 116:5-9

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I hit a crossroads not long ago - there were two different paths to take. One all about me. One that was not. I needed God more desperately than I have in a long time and in that desperation, chose correctly. I chose to take time to think, pray, read and just listen for God's voice. I chose the quiet over the noise. And I'm finally at a place again where if someone asked how I was doing, truly doing, that I could honestly answer "I'm in a good place right now."

Quote

2009-03-19T19:21:00.001-04:00

One of my good friends shared this quote with me. I decided to share it with you all.

----

" Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived." ~William Parrish (Anthony Hopkins) in Meet Joe Black

Impactful

2009-03-10T13:48:00.003-04:00

This weekend at GCC we launched into a series on an often taboo topic - Sex. Most churches refuse to address this topic, we talk openly about it.

A woman from our church told her story via media. I think the honesty and rawness of her words was one of the most impactful parts of the service. Check it out for yourself:

(If you're reading this via facebook, you can view it here)

Captivating

2009-02-21T23:44:00.002-05:00

A guy friend on facebook put it out there today that he was looking to borrow the book Captivating by Stasi and John Eldredge. For those of you who aren't aware, it's a book mainly about women, how we're wired and how to be truly captivating. Not exactly a guy kind of book. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I read Wild at Heart by John Eldredge to help me understand more of the inner struggle of males; why shouldn't guys read about the inner struggles of women.

Before offering up my book, I decided to glance through it to make sure there weren't any notes in the margins that I wouldn't want someone else to read. In doing so, I started reading some of the passages I had underlined. There is some great stuff in this book! So, men, here's a sneak peek, and women, trust me, you'll want to read this book too!

- Every woman I've ever met feels it - something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and, I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is Shame, the universal companion of women. It haunts us, nipping at our heels, feeding on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone.

- We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought - that no one has the passion or the courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. And we feel uncertain - uncertain what it even means to be a woman; uncertain what it truly means to be feminine; uncertain if we are or ever will be.

- If you will listen to carefully to any woman's story, you will hear a theme; the assault on her heart. It might be obvious as in the stories of physical, verbal or sexual abuse. Or it might be more subtle, the indifference of a world that cares nothing for her but uses her until she is drained.

- God invites us to risk trusting him and enter into redemptive friendships with others - to open ourselves up to the possibility of being hurt as well as to the possibility of tasting the sweet fruit of companionship. Yet, no matter how wonderful a taste of relational fullness you have, you will want more. If you had an amazing connection yesterday with someone, when you wake this morning, you will want it again. Eve possesses a bottomless well of longing. Jesus alone s the never-ending fount, which can slake her thirst. No other source, no other relationship will fully satisfy. God made us that way. On purpose.

2009-02-21T23:07:00.002-05:00

Well, I've been absent from the blog world for a while now. I hope you have all missed me.

Tonight's blog though I cannot take credit for - I'm re-posting one that my amazing and smart friend Sarah wrote. I couldn't word it better myself...

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"Answer First"

We have some amazing students at GSM! Whether is school, future plans, relationships, Scripture or whatever I love sitting and listening to them share about their journeys. The last few weeks have included several conversations with a few girls about dating and relationships.

It has always amazed me how quickly girls fall for a guy without even getting to know him. A few weeks later her heart is broken because low and behold he wasn't who she thought he was. Duh! You never even stopped to find out who he was. And I'm not just talking about students, girls my age do this.

I'm not going to pretend like I'm an expert in this area. We all know that isn't true but I thought I would share the questions I always encourage girls to answer when they "like a boy." I'm guessing they could be just as helpful for guys. But who I am to know?

1. What is it you like about him/her?
2. How does he/she treat you?
3. How do you see Jesus in him/her?
4. Does he/she point you towards Christ?

Random Jeanna Twitters...

2009-02-08T21:07:00.004-05:00

I'm a twitter-er. Some of you may already know that and follow the random happenings and thoughts of my life, others may not. So here's a glance into the things that happen to me and the thoughts that come out of my head from the last few weeks or so...

If you burn the roof of your mouth, I recommend avoiding mouth wash for a few days. Trust me on this one.
God always seems to know exactly what I need, exactly when I need it.
Yesterday was a dress up and look super cute day. Today I'm going for the classic comfortable and lazy look - the hoodie.
My cousin in AZ is complaining about it being too hot, and I'm complaining about it being too cold. I'm willing to swap!
I wish I could just close my eyes, imagine a Starbucks on my desk, and have it appear. That would be cool.
Yes, I did choose my outfit today based on what new jewelry I wanted to wear
Sometimes it's good to look back at your life and thank God for intervening.
Some call it "ADD" and consider it a disorder. I call it "multi-tasking" and call it a gift.
So easily distracted tonight. More so than normal. Scary thought, I know!
The snooze button is my favorite of the buttons.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Just discovered you can make rice krispie treats in the microwave. How did I not know this before!?
My friends know me. A recent email signed with "I hope you have a wonderful day filled with Starbucks and chocolate."
Apparently I got cold last night - woke up this morning with my ENTIRE body under my down comforter.
It's a chocolate kind of day. If you saw what was on my to-do list, you'd think so too.
Chocolate. Check. Caffeine. Check. Ipod. Check. Time to tackle the big project on my plate.
Perspective changes everything.
Sometimes you have to make a conscience choice to be happy. Right now, I'm choosing to be happy.
Body is starting to ache already from today's workout. Hurt to pull the covers up. May need to be rolled outta bed in the morning
Paper cut on my pinky. OW! Hurts to use the "Enter" and "Shift" keys
This morning I am working from the comfort of my warm and cozy bed. Just because I can.
Cannot seem to find my groove this morning. Feel like an awkward puppy who has yet to grow into its paws.
I loathe my alarm clock this morning.
Oh 24 how I have missed you.
I'm tired of being cold. It's only January. And I live in northern Indiana.
Massive headache + sinus pressure = bummin it day. Now, where's my huge, comfy, cozy hoodie
Hello drawer-o-chocolate.
I believe some foods taste better when eaten with fingers instead of silverware.
Wait. What's that sound? Oh, it's my bed calling my name. Night all.
Oh sinuses how I hate thee.
Need. Caffeine.
Silk boxer shorts guy is back at the gym. Ug.
Hoodies and hats - early morning apparel.
I'm up. And it's early. Enough said.
I just got asked if I was over 17. Made my whole day.
I'm currently utilizing seven blankets. Three fleece, one wool in the mix. Yep, I'm weird and always cold.
I totally just whacked myself in the head with the vacuum attachment. That takes skills.
I'm wearing my new ND hoodie. My stepbro sitting next to me is wearing Purdue.
Oh my. Just found a pic of me at 2 1/2, wearing only socks, walking on the kitchen counter.
4 things I, w/out fail, lose when I wrap Xmas gifts - the remote to the stereo, scissors, tape and pen. And not just once, multiple times.
My afternoon thus far: clean, dance, laundry, coffee, dance, clean, twitter. Repeat as necessary.
After shoveling previous snowfall on drive, am now a Jeanna popsicle. Pardon me while I go thaw
Discovered a nice note on my keyboard this morning. Included "Don't slip on the ice" - it was a little too late by the time I saw it.
Hoping to be pleasantly surprised in the morning with good health.
I have itunes ADD today.
I just smacked the crap outta my alarm. It felt nice.
Can't think straight. Can't focus. Need. Coffee. Starbucks. Need Starbucks.

The Evolution is BACK!

2009-01-18T21:56:00.002-05:00

Unless you have been living under a rock for the last few years, I'm sure you have heard of and seen (probably multiple times) The Evolution of Dance (I believe it's one of the top viewed videos on YouTube)

WELL...it's back. The Evolution of Dance 2 is here! And it's only a few days old. But I must say, the first is still my favorite...

Hmmm..

2009-01-17T14:06:00.000-05:00

I'm curious to see what comes of this:

Random Fact

2009-01-16T20:55:00.003-05:00

I hate matching socks.

With a passion.

That's why I always buy the exact same brand of socks. They all match.

(Can you tell I'm currently doing laundry?)

Quick Update

2009-01-04T20:36:00.002-05:00

Fact - I've been on vacation since before Christmas.

Fact - I rarely used an alarm in that time period.

Fact - I got used to staying up late again.

Put these three together and take a guess what I'm thinking about my 5:45 alarm.

99 Balloons

2008-12-27T16:58:00.002-05:00

My sister-in-law showed me this video yesterday - it's an extremely touching story of a baby not expected to live, and parents who chose not to be sad.

Take the six minutes to watch it.

5:11

2008-12-22T14:34:00.000-05:00

Take the 5 minutes and 11 seconds to watch this video.

It will make you stop and think.

I should be...

2008-12-20T12:01:00.002-05:00

...cleaning. I skipped the gym to clean. Instead I am blogging. What can I say, I was concerned you all would be worried by my absence. I would hate to put you through that.

I've had many "deep" thoughts to blog about lately - and I will. Eventually. But not today. My brain is not ready for that. So, I give you, random tidbits. (Big surprise...)

In the winter, I'm always cold. In the summer, in air conditioning, I'm often cold. Hoodies are my best friend. So is my down comforter.
Last night I spent the night somewhere sans comforter. I had on two layers of clothing and 8 layers of covers. Yes, you read that right. It was difficult to move, but I was warm. I lost two layers of blankets in the middle of the night. Decided next time, comforter will go with.
Once I find a pen I like, I go a little "pen crazy" - meaning, I return to the store, buy many more, and place them everywhere I use a pen.
The majority of the books I own, I haven't read. And those that I have actually opened, only a small percentage have I read the entire thing. I call it my ADD reading life. While I'm in the middle of one book, a new one appears that grabs my attention. I try reading both, but the new book has hooked me. Good thing I'm not like this with relationships in my life.
My best friend and I have a Christmas time tradition we both hold dear to our hearts. This year, we aren't able to do it since she lives 3 hrs away and it just won't work out. I'm kind of bummed.
I wear jeans almost all the time. To work, to church, around town, etc. When I'm not in jeans I'm either in workout pants at the gym, or comfy pajama pants. Occurred to me last night that for Christmas Eve I will be attending another church service besides my own. While jeans aren't necessarily frowned upon, it wouldn't be a good choice with my family for me to show up sporting denim on my bottom half. None of my old dress clothes fit. Made an emergency run to the store for dress pants. Saved by a good sale.
I'm obsessed with pineapple juice. I love pineapple based smoothies. When I was a kid I would make pineapple juice popsicles. When I'm sick, I want pineapple juice. And if there is pineapple juice in the fridge or cupboard, trust me, it doesn't last long. But I wonder why it comes in a metal can. I'm guessing it has some chemical reaction purpose - but it just kind of annoys me when I have to dig through the kitchen drawer to find the tool to actually open the thing.
I'm obsessed with dry roasted peanuts and craisins mixed together - I eat it all the time. It's seriously amazing. I even can eye the ratio to my exact tastes. I didn't even really like craisins until a month ago when someone forced a baggie of them on me. I came up with the snack out of pure desperation to rid myself of the craisins. Now I know the exact grocery aisle where they live.
Now I want to eat some craisins and peanuts...bye!

Disturbing

2008-12-12T10:39:00.002-05:00

You hear and read a lot of disturbing things on the Internet, but this one take the cake for the week.

Oh. My. Word. To understand the full extent of my "Oh. My. Word." read the entire article and look at the pictures.

Canadian Man Builds Himself Robot Girlfriend

Random Thoughts

2008-12-09T20:25:00.002-05:00

I'm sick. Or at least borderline close to being sick. I've been sleeping off an on this afternoon, and now I'm bored. Not enough energy to do much, and the book I'm currently reading makes me think too much for amount of power my body has currently allotted for my brain. So, I'm blogging. As I lay here, random thoughts are going through my brain. So I might as well share them with you. If they make absolutely no sense, you know why.

Why is it when you're sick, carbohydrates seem to be all you eat? Meat makes me nauseous to think about; dairy is never a good choice; who wants vegetables when you're sick; and if you feel moved to eat fruit, that's a carb anyway. Being sick is not good for my balanced eating plan.
Canned chicken noodle soup makes me nauseous too. Until today, when I would smell it when I was perfectly healthy, it would make me feel sick. I always assumed I was just associating it with being sick, hence the feeling. I was wrong. Just opened a can to eat for dinner - couldn't handle it. Made me feel worse. So if I'm ever sick, and you decide to be nice and bring me soup - make sure it's not chicken and noodle from a can.
I've previously talked about this here and here. But here I go again - with a strange occurrence regarding my eating habits of bread. I never eat the last bite (which is normally a corner) of my bread, sandwich or toast (these are all breads that have a crust and do not include ciabatta and such) - when I cut a piece of bread, or sandwich, in half, I always have two pieces left. In my sickness tonight, I ate the last bite of one side of my bread. I found myself shocked when I went to throw away the other and realized I had only one, not two piece left. Apparently I am just screwed up in the head.
I love pineapple juice. It's my favorite of the juices. It's in my favorite smoothie at Jumpin' Juice and Java, and it's my number one choice when I'm sick. As a kid I always made pineapple juice popsicles. I do however think it's strange that it comes in a big metal can - for a purpose I am sure. By tomorrow the entire thing will be gone, if not before.
When I go to the gym I sweat. A lot. I haven't showered before I go - I literally roll outta bed, get dressed, pull my hair up and go (no worries, I do brush my teeth too) - so I completely don't understand when I catch guys checking me out at the gym. I just don't get it.
One upside to our economy craziness - I've been able to find amazing deals for Christmas presents every time I look, not just on Black Friday! I have yet to pay full price for a Christmas gift. This makes me very happy.

And with that, I'm done. I'm spent. My energy is gone. Time to take some more drugs and go back to sleep.

The List

2008-11-27T12:33:00.003-05:00

As I'm sitting here waiting for the last few "pieces" of dinner to finish cooking, I've been thinking about what I'm thankful for. It reminds me how blessed I truly am. I was going to journal my list as a prayer of Thanksgiving, but decided to share it with all of you as well. Some are cheesy "classic" things everyone is thankful for but some are not. All of which are close to my heart.
So, with that, I give you my list:

I'm thankful for...

friends who not only love me exactly where I am at, but love me enough to call me out on my crap.
a loving family. Even when it's hard to not be able to see all of them over the holidays due to the many miles between us, I know they are always there, loving me and understanding the sometimes strange things that have become traditions or jokes of past holidays.
an amazing team that I get to work with everyday. For the balance they have between being in the world and of the world. For the tasks we are privileged to accomplish everyday and the fun we have in doing so.
my grandma. There have been a couple of close calls to losing her over the last year and half, and I'm so thankful she is alive and healthy and still making memories with us everyday.
how far I have come. I've been doing some "looking back" lately and am startled by how God has completely transformed my life and realigned it back to him.
GCC - the place that gave me hope, allowed me to question and doubt, and built the trust that helped me to let God in again.
the troops that are away from their families over the holidays so that our country can be a safer place.
little surprises that bring so much joy.
having the freedom to say and believe what I want without the fear of persecution or death.
those people in my life that when I am struggling, they are there holding me up.
all the encouragement that has driven my journey to become healthier and lose weight - for the people who knew how badly I wanted to change, and then pushed me to always do more.
my parents, who I have never had to doubt their love.
loved ones who have served in Iraq, their safe homecoming, and the faith that if/when they get sent out again, that God will once again protect them.
the technology that allows me to be more connected to my family and friends.
my life experiences - those times when you can't fathom that anything good could ever come of your pain, but then God redeems in ways you could never even imagine.
the connections and friendships that grow out of those past life experiences.
the leadership of GCC - the ones who I get to watch and learn from. How to lead well, how to love your spouse, how to love and support your children and most importantly how to be fully devoted to God in all you do.

Glimpses of God

2008-11-20T18:31:00.002-05:00

It's all too easy to forget that God doesn't always show up in "big" ways - most of the time he shows up in little glimpses through the people around me. On my drive home tonight I started to think of the glimpses of God I've seen in the past week - and then sat in awe of how many I could list...

A random phone call from a friend.
A voicemail from a friend who said exactly what I needed to hear, even though she didn't even realize why she was making the call.
A childhood tradition I hold dear to my heart continuing for another year.
A surprise visit at work from someone who I hadn't seen in almost a year.
A bottle of my favorite creamer left on my desk with a post-it note of kind words.
A child cuddling up against you.
Finding my car cleaned off, by someone who knows how much I dislike that part of winter.
The pure joy of a child.
Words of guidance, speaking directly into your life in a room full of people.
A song with the exact words I needed to hear, but didn't want to
Three friends not answering your call when I needed to talk, forcing me to have a conversation with God instead
A topic of a simple conversation, convicting me.
Realizing a friend gets where you are coming from, having been there themselves.
Discovering my fears are not just mine, but shared with others as well.

If Today Was Your Last Day

2008-11-17T13:38:00.003-05:00

I discovered this song by Nickelback today - it speaks to exactly to what I've been processing lately: would I live my life differently if today was my last day...and if I would, why I am not doing so now...

Letter

2008-11-17T10:06:00.001-05:00

Dear guy at the gym who works out in silk boxer shorts,

Please stop.

Sincerely,
Everyone around you

Amazing Ad

2008-11-15T12:52:00.002-05:00

Just saw this ad on tv - it was created for Veteran's Day. Thanks Boeing for doing this.

Fear.

2008-11-15T12:13:00.002-05:00

Everyone has a few things they struggle with - one of mine is a certain fear. Not one I'm going to go into detail on (at least not today) but one that has recently cropped up again.

In cleaning out massive amounts of "sent" emails today, I found an email I wrote last year on the topic of fear. I would say it's ironic that I found it now, when I needed to be reminded the most - but I now it's not ironic - it's God trying to remind me of what I already know.

Excerpt from email:
Recently Mark Batterson came to speak at a New Community - he wrote the book In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day - a book all about facing your fears, being offensive in dealing with them, chasing a "lion" like Benaiah did, instead of running away. I was reading over my notes tonight and some of his book again, and something he said really stuck out at me. He said Satan often tries to put us on the defensive by using guilt and fear. And we often run away instead of fighting. And it a lot of times has become a conditioned reflex for us. We become formed by the things we are afraid of.

Quick Random Thoughts

2008-11-11T21:10:00.002-05:00

I'm tired.

I should just go to bed.

But I decided I needed to blog first. So I give you...random thoughts.

I'm too anal to rake leaves. I want the ground to be leaf-free - unfortunately the wind does not agree. It bothers me.
I've been in a cleaning/organizing mode lately. It's strange. I find myself wanting to be home more so I can get more done.
In cleaning stuff out, I discovered a birthday card from the first person who befriended me at GCC. She passed away 2 1/2 years ago. I'm glad I kept that card.
It's November already. I'm seeing Christmas decorations and hearing Christmas music. I'm not ready for that.
I love earrings - they are fun and cute. But they are not practical in the winter. Freezes one's earlobes.
It's been 14 months (to the day) since I decided to switch to morning workouts. I thought it would be temporary. Then someone challenged me to do it for three weeks. And now I'm grateful for it. I wouldn't give up my morning workouts for the world. AND I am not a morning person.

24

2008-11-05T10:17:00.001-05:00

I love the show "24" - so this makes me happy :)

'24' Premiere Goes Four Hours Variety
Fox will premiere its season of '24' with two two-hour episodes on Jan. 11 and Jan. 12 before returning to regular programming the following week, Daily Variety reports. The network on Nov. 23 will air the two-hour "24: Redemption," which will bring viewers current after the writers strike-preempted season six, which ended a year and a half ago, the newspaper says.

My Thoughts

2008-11-04T21:48:00.002-05:00

I don't often talk politics, and I never blog about anything political. But this time I am...

It seems like during this election process, everyone is looking for a savior. Someone to swoop in and save us all from all the problems in the world - included those that we have self-inflicted. But at some point we have to take responsibility for our own actions and choices. We can't expect the government to fix all our problems. The President of the United States of America is not a savior. And will never be our savior. We already have one. The President is our chosen leader. But not our savior.

The government will never be able to fix all the problems and help all the hurting people. WE are the ones who are called to help those in need. WE'RE supposed to be the change in the world. WE have a job to do. And until we realize that, nothing's going to change.

Painting Woes

2008-10-31T10:47:00.002-04:00

Today is painting day.

Just got done priming the ceiling.

Thought I was prepared. Wore a hat pulled down fairly far over my face.

I was wrong.

Just discovered paint on my contacts.

Next coat - safety glasses.

Oh my...

2008-10-30T14:42:00.001-04:00

This makes me feel old...

"On a Whim..."

2008-10-30T14:39:00.001-04:00

This story gives me hope in society and makes me smile.

A Gentle Reminder

2008-10-27T11:44:00.000-04:00

I ran across this quote this morning - I think it's one of those things we tend to forget...

"Everyone can be great because anyone can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't even have to make your subject and verb agree to serve...You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love." Martin Luther King, Jr.

SNL

2008-10-21T13:44:00.000-04:00

Over the years I've had a roller coaster ride of emotion with SNL. There was a season in my life when I couldn't get enough. Then some of my favorite cast members left, and suddenly it wasn't so funny anymore. But the recent stuff with Sarah Palin is nothing short of hilarious. Check it out...

Where You've Been

2008-10-09T20:08:00.002-04:00

Something occurred to be last night during a conversation - how one person can vastly alter the direction of your life.

7 years ago I was done with church. I still had a faith, albeit weak, in God but I had no desire to go to church, to have anything to do with the institution of church and I just flat out didn't trust pastors anymore. Having spent my entire life in church, sunday school and church camps, this was foreign territory for my friends and family.

But one friend didn't give up on me. For months she asked me to go to GCC with her - said it was different. I kept saying no and coming up with excuses. She kept asking. She accepted the place I was at, but never gave up on me. I think she knew that my heart was yearning to be able to trust, but was afraid.

One Sunday morning I relented and agreed to get up early again. I realized that first day that something was different about this church - people greeted me and genuinely seemed happy to be there. Everyone seemed happy to be there. And when Mark Beeson spoke, it felt real - it felt authentic - it felt like what my life had been missing.

Looking back it amazes me how far I have come. How much I have changed. How much I have grown. And how much I truly trust and believe in the leadership of Granger Community Church. My life has been forever changed.

All because one person didn't give up on me.

September - what!? It's October?!

2008-10-05T18:37:00.002-04:00

I have no idea where September went. One day it was August. I blinked and it was October.

Amazingly easy, healthy and YUMMY dinner!

2008-10-05T18:03:00.002-04:00

This was tonight's dinner. And it was phenominal! Easy, healthy and oh-so-good. The great thing about it is that if you likely spicy food (which I am not a fan of) you can use hotter salsa and up the cumin and you're good to go!

Black Bean & Bacon Soup
(From the Twenty-Minute Low-Fat Gourmet)

4 strips turkey bacon
1 medium-sized yellow onion
2 cloves garlic minced
2 cups + reduced-sodium chicken broth or regular chicken broth
1/2 cup salsa
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
2 15 or 16 oz cans black beans, rinsed and drained, divided
1/4 cup coarsely chopped cilantro
1/4 cup fat-free sour cream or fat-free plain yogurt

Cut bacon crosswise into 1/2 inch slices. Cook in a large saucepan over medium-high heat for 2 minutes. Coarsely chop onion. Add onion and garlic to bacon and cook, stirring occasionally, for 3 minutes. Add one can of beans and partially mash with wooden spoon or a potato masher. Add broth, salsa, cumin and, if desired, pepper. Increase heat to high. Stir in other can of beans, cover, and bring to a boil. Cover and simmer, stirring occasionally for 8 minutes. (Or you can simmer uncovered for 10 minutes) Stir in cilantro. Serve with sour cream. (We also serve it with baked Scoops tortilla chips)

"Send Me"

2008-09-26T10:10:00.002-04:00

Thanks to Mandy for linking to this video

(who by the way got it here - gotta love the power of viral video)

Random Tidbits

2008-09-01T20:24:00.002-04:00

I've discovered I'm a fan of old movies. The humor is so subtle. I think that makes it even funnier.
I love to bake, but always hated trying to make cookies even and cupcakes or muffins evenly filled (yes I am anal and can't get past it). They invented a spiffy cookie scooper, but I hadn't found anything for cupcakes or muffins. So I use an ice cream scoop. I know it's weird, but it works and it makes me happy. Go with it.
Cereal tastes better the later in the day it gets.
Lindsay and I get Starbucks every morning. I'm completely addicted.
Recently discovered lattes made with soy. I may never go back. How did I not know how delicious it was???
I love evenings in the late summer. When the sun is beginning to go down, and the temperature is perfect. It's such a beautiful, peaceful time.
When it comes to my hair, I am always up for a change. But I ALWAYS freak out right after I chop it off. I've never not liked it after a few days, but I still always wonder "What have I done??"
My niece and nephew have my tied around their little fingers. I would do anything for them - even sacrifice my arm to get a ball out of a rosebush.
I love sushi, but hate when the ends are not evenly cut.
I am a social person, but still enjoy quiet time by myself. I can't handle noise all the time. I need a little quiet to recharge.
When I really like a book or movie, I will reread or watch it over and over again.
I love "tasting" cookie dough in all the stages of making it. And I truly believe it tastes better when eaten with fingers than spoons.

Tomorrow

2008-08-30T18:16:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow is a very important person's birthday - Kem Meyer.

Some may be asking, who is this Kem Meyer you speak of? Should I know her? Yea, you should.

Kem is an amazing woman, leader, wife, mom, friend and boss. Yep, I said boss. Normally the term "boss" is viewed negatively - but I am blessed to have some of the best. So, here are some of the reasons I think you should get to know Kem...

When I first met Kem, it was in an interview for an IT position. I left with the feeling two things. One, that I would really like to work with Kem. Two, that I didn't think I was qualified to do the job well. And I would never want GCC to have anyone less than the best. As it turns out, God had different plans, and I was later hired for a different position in Kem's department. Kem is an amazing person because she saw me for who I was - she saw my heart. Not many people even bother trying.
Kem is one of the most authentic people I know, who is always willing to shoot it straight - even if it's not the easiest choice.
She is easily distracted - which if you know me at all, I can totally relate with.
When Kem is excited, she shows it. No guessing. I love that!
Kem's life has not always been easy or full of roses. She can relate to people in all kinds of life circumstances. She chooses to use her past pain to help others. She never lets an experience go to waste, she always finds a purpose or a lesson.
Kem cheers her team on. We always know Kem is there to have our backs, cheer us on, and encourage us to always do better.
Kem prays for us. And then she'll tell us. And that is even more encouraging.

The list could go on. Let's just say, I'm thankful Kem and Daryl hired me onto the Communications Team. It's more than just a job and co-workers. It's more than anything I could have ever asked for or imagined.

Happy 40th Kem!

Great Commercial

2008-08-11T19:50:00.002-04:00

I saw this for the first time yesterday - genius!

Looking back and Looking forward

2008-08-02T00:02:00.002-04:00

Tonight was spent with a great friend. It started out as a spontaneous trip for ice cream. It ended three hours later. And I needed it.

Have you ever been looking forward in your life for so long, that you forget to look back? That you forget to stop, turn around, and see how far you have come? How much you have changed? The person you used to be?

A lot of my past was revisited in our conversations tonight. And I realized something. It doesn't hurt anymore. I can talk about my past, reference certain turning points, and see how God was at work the entire time. I find myself stopping and thinking about how my experiences relate to those in the Bible. How there is only one person in the Bible who never screwed up. How David murdered an innocent man to cover his mistake - but yet God still loves him and chose to use him as an example of a Godly man.

All too often we read about grace in the Bible, but forget that these were real people, with real problems and real faults. We read the stories and see in a few words God extending grace, but it's so hard to imagine it works the same for all of us. We are no different. We are all children of God and grace is in the reach of each and every one of us. We just need to ask for it.

Looking back tonight reminded me of how far I've come, but more importantly, it reminded me of all the grace I've been given. And how long it took me to accept it. I pray for my friends to realize what an amazing gift the grace of God truly is, and will choose to accept it. God has great things in store for his children - we just need to stop getting in the way.

The Last Lecture

2008-07-25T17:18:00.002-04:00

On my vacation in May, I took the time to read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. It was a short, but powerful read. Sadly, I just learned Randy lost his battle with pancreatic cancer this morning. His story is a powerful one. If you haven't seen his lecture on youtube, or read his book, I recommend it. Makes you stop and think about if your life had a time limit.

Speechless. And in awe.

2008-07-15T08:51:00.001-04:00

Take the few minutes to watch these. It's worth it.

Thoughts

2008-07-11T17:37:00.002-04:00

I subscribe to a lot of blogs and news sites. I read some daily, some weekly, some monthly and some I just peruse as I feel the need.

With a quiet house and time on my hands, I've been going through my blog reader. Here's a few random things that caught my eye...

This is genius - Troops becoming their own batteries. Great idea, as long as they don't get electrocuted.
This is either really smart or really stupid - Man outsmarts cops with marker
This frustrates me - A very public divorce, husband acting like he really wants the kids, turns out he wanted money more
This makes me chuckle - After working at a library for 9 years, stupid things people try to get away with make me laugh
This has been a long time coming - Glad to know 911 may actually catch up to twitter.
This doesn't surprise me - Read it, you'll agree
This gives me the heebeegeebees - Why oh why are young girls so stupid
This is good...I think? - One upside to high gas prices
This makes me laugh - Yep, I get to work with these crazy people every day. And I love it!
This made me laugh out loud - Good thing I hadn't drank anything recently. I found this hysterical.

Rockers

2008-07-11T17:03:00.002-04:00

Since I read this blog I'm always hearing amazing stories of rockers who discover the amazing love, power and grace of Jesus Christ. For those people who write off people in the entertainment industry, this is a story you'll want to hear:

Backstage with Poison!

Yep, I'm obsessed.

2008-07-09T21:26:00.002-04:00

I absolutely love to watch the show "So You Think You Can Dance" - especially after it get narrows down. There is something absolutely beautiful about dance, and when performers can make you feel connected and emotionally invested, you know there's something special there. After searching YouTube I have found two of my favorite performances this season. And yes, I have watched them over and over again. And I'll probably continue to watch them over and over again the future to. Hey, don't judge.

The actual dance starts around 2:50 into the video.

The Other Side

2008-07-03T15:18:00.001-04:00

I workout in the mornings before work, and since I don't think my co-workers would appreciate the smell, I utilize the shower at the gym.

A few months ago though, there was a problem.

The shower curtain.

It would "fly" in at you while you were using the shower - and when the stall is small - it gets real annoying real fast. But more importantly, two of the rings of the inside curtain were ripped, causing it to hang partially down and increase the attack on your legs. All of us in the locker room would complain about it to each other, wondering when the gym would fix the problem. Then one day something occurred to me...what if they don't even know it's a problem? How would they even know if no one has bothered to tell them?

That day I scribbled down a quick note in the communication log. The next day there was a new shower curtain. One that you didn't have to constantly ward off while you were trying to rid yourself of the stink and sweat. The gym staff wasn't aware of the problem. They needed someone on the other side of the curtain.

And that got me thinking...we all need people on the other side of the curtain.

In my job I'm constantly trying to put myself "on the other side" - to be a person using our website for the first time, or the 20th time, instead of a person who is a creator of it. I can remember what it was like to be on the other side of that shower curtain, but I'm not there anymore. And I can't go back. I will always have a slightly biased opinion. We constantly strive to improve our website, but we couldn't accomplish it without having people on the other side.

But even in our personal lives we need those people to keep us grounded. To be outside of our situations to call us to the truth we are too close to see for ourselves. Someone to let us know when the curtain is ripped and attacking innocent people.

Do you have people on the other side of the curtain? If not, find someone you can trust to be truthful. Sometimes it hurts to hear what they have to say, but in the end, the balance it brings and the person you become makes it worth it.

No one wants to be that ripped curtain.

Got me

2008-06-12T08:51:00.003-04:00

This got to me - I saw it on this guy's twitter, which linked to this guy's blog. It's worth a few minutes to watch - trust me.

My Latest Kick

2008-06-07T15:57:00.002-04:00

I often go through "phases" - I call these kicks. Especially involving food and my eating habits.

Two years ago I went through a zucchini kick. I couldn't eat enough of the stuff. I ate it prepared all different ways, all the time. That kick lasted a few months.

I've gone through a Raspberry Ice Crystal Light kick when I drank pitchers of it a day.

Most often I experience chocolate kicks. Although this may just be more of who I am than an actual kick.

My most recent though is my cereal kick. This has been going on for at least two weeks. When I go to the grocery store, I always have to check out the cereal aisle. Normally leaving with at least one box. When I browse the fridge or cupboards for something to eat, I choose cereal. Breakfast, Dinner, Snack - doesn't matter when. Doesn't matter the type. It varies depending on my mood.

I've had it twice today. Three times yesterday.

Anyone share in my cereal fixation?

I completely agree.

2008-06-05T22:15:00.002-04:00

Every once and a while I get reminded that there truly are people in the world that care more about others than themselves. That's why when I saw this article in our local newspaper online, it made me smile. I agree full heartedly with what they are choosing to do.

Military personnel move to front of airport lines

Uniformed military personnel will now be able to shorten wait times during security screening at the South Bend Regional Airport, with a new policy that allows them to go to the front of the lines.

John Schalliol, executive director of the airport, has announced that signs will be placed at the entrances to both security checkpoints to allow military personnel on active duty and in uniform to go to the head of the lines.

Here is the text displayed on the new signs:

All military personnel on active duty and in uniform shall go to the head of the security checkpoint line. Thank you for your sacrifices on our behalf. This is the least we can do.

— The Michiana Traveling Public"

"We discussed this with the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) and they thought it was a great idea," Schalliol said in a press release. "We are confident that our patrons will share in our appreciation for the sacrifices our military makes for us every day by supporting this gesture"

This cracks me up.

2008-06-05T14:50:00.001-04:00

Can't Turn It Off

2008-05-30T20:05:00.005-04:00

I work with basic html coding on a daily basis. So when I saw this widget on the sidebar of Daryl's blog, immediately all I can notice is that something has gone wrong with their coding. Generally you aren't supposed to see the <> marks and the code that goes inside of it.

Something Bigger

2008-05-30T19:53:00.003-04:00

I love that I get to be part of something bigger than myself. The latest example is a new website created for the conference we hold every year to help encourage, train and empower church leaders around the world. While I only played a small part, the fact that I get to work with such a talented team of people, all to help others, makes me smile.

Why I Love Twitter

2008-05-30T19:39:00.002-04:00

After the drama that was my return trip home from Dallas, I got to the South Bend Airport Friday morning only to discover my luggage had yet to make it there (even though it was 12 hours after it was supposed to have arrived there.) I insisted the person behind the desk give me a phone number to call to check in to see if my luggage had arrived. The following occured that afternoon...

1:24 p.m. - Phone call to airport. Confirm luggage has arrived. Decline delivery, no longer trust the airline to deliver.
1:26 p.m. - Update Twitter status "My luggage has finally been accounted for!! WOOHOO!"
1:30 p.m. - Cell phone rings.
Jami - "Hey, where are you?"
Me - "I'm at work, why?"
Jami - "Kem just saw your twitter update and we were wondering if you were at the airport. Our flight just got in."
Me - laughing
Jami - "Do you want us to try to get your luggage?"
Me - "Sure, if they'll let you." Give her the name of the carrier.
1:33 p.m. - Jami calls back. "They gave it to me. They only asked your name. Kem will bring it by work on her way home."

Twitter time - 3 seconds
Worth - 30+ minutes and the price of gas

A Day at the Dallas Airport

2008-05-22T19:56:00.004-04:00

Today has been a very interesting day - and finally I am starting to find the humor in it. You gotta hear this...

Can't sleep in - awake every 10 minutes starting at 6 am until finally get up at 640.
Finish packing the head to the airport
Get checked in by 945 for 1115 flight
Go through security - passed :)
Purchase a bottle of water for the flightIn plane, on runaway - suddenly pilots hit the brakes and the plane screeches to a stop. Plane does a uturn and stops
Pilot comes on and says the computer is malfunctioning but they are working on it
Few minutes later pilot comes back on and explains a mechanic will need to try restarting it and we must return to terminal
Quick clock check makes me realize if we are back in the air within an hour, should have no problem catching connection in Cinnicinati to get me home by 5
Few phone calls made to family as well as text and twitter updatesPilot says they are hoping it will only take a few minutes - there are no other planes for us to switch to because of the holiday weekend. No extra planes and no extra seats on any flights to cinncinati. Still feeling positive
Approx. 45 minutes later pilot comes on, has us de-plane. Says it should take around 1/2 hour to fix but wanted us to be able to get comfortable
More phone calls and text updates
Time passes - still not fixed, missed the cut off for making connection, the book me on the next one to SB from Cinncinati. Starting to waiver on the positive attitude
HOURS pass - same thing, trying to fix the plane, calling family to update them
Time passes where any chance of making connecting flight is gone. Almost at breaking point emotionally.Delta guy comes on and says they need a part, so it will be at least three hours until the flight leaves. Anyone heading to cinnicinati will still take this flight, anyone with a connection will miss it. Instruct us to head to Delta Ticket Desk for better assistance
Go outside secure area to go to ticket counter
No seats on any flights. Have to fly standby on overbooked flight for 400 to get to Atlanta, have definite seat from Atlanta to SB. If I don't get on the flight, my luggage must go on without me. I take the risk. Second flight to Atlanta at 515 I can also fly standby on
Head to security, must throw away my fairly full bottle of water. Go back through security.
More phone calls to family. Breakdown and cry at every conversation. Just want to go home.
Wait and pray for a miracle to make it on the flight. 27 people flying standby, I'm number 9. Discover flight is overbooked by 20 people.
Buy another bottle of water for flight and a book to try to distract me. Distraction didn't work.
No one on standby makes it onto the flight
Move to the next gate. Still number 9 on standby. Pray for a miracle.
Flight takes off without me on it.
Tear up again.
Call Dad and Stepmom to pick me back up
Head to Delta ticket desk again
This agent explores other options on other airlines. Finds a late night flight to Indianapolis. Call my sister to see if shes willing to pick me up at 1135 in Indy, a three hour drive there and then back.
Tear up again. Sister willingly agrees as I am a wreck on the phone.
Booked on flight. Given food voucher and directions how to get to other terminal where the flight would be in 2 1/2 hours.
Call Dad and stepmom back to tell them they don't need to come, and about flight to Indy. Have been at the airport over 7 1/2 hours.
Next 20 minutes spent on the phone with various family members driving me crazy with what to do! No longer need advice, plans have been made. Know they are doing it because they love me but still overwhelming. Family gives me a headache.
Realize again that I must throw away my just opened water to go back through security. Chug some of it.
Head through third security check of the day. Get flagged to be patted down and stuff searched. Laughed at the irony - figure if I had anything to hide, I would have been caught by now.
Decide I should eat something, go to pay with food voucher. Not accepted in this terminal, even though specifically told it could be. Get frustrated again.
Waiting for time to board - finally find humor in the situation. Don't want to travel again for a long time.

Just Be

2008-05-21T22:21:00.002-04:00

Most of the time when I see my dad or stepmom our time is filled to overflowing. Living many states apart, and only seeing each other two to three times a year, leads to jam packed visits that often fall over holidays.

This time was different. After attending DC08 (see previous posts if you really want to know what that is...) I was able to take some vacation time and stay in Dallas with them as they just recently moved to a neighboring city. Having five days left us in no hurry. We got to just "be". Sometimes I think we take for granted time to just be together. Not necessarily making plans, or going anywhere, but cooking together, eating dinner together, watching tv, chatting about trivial things, sharing funny emails. I think society often bombards us with the idea that we have to always be "doing" something. I can say this, because I too have the urge to always do something. It took me two days to realize that it's okay to not have to - and came to appreciate the fact that we were just together.

And those are the memories that make me love my family even more.

Oh yea!

2008-05-16T18:35:00.002-04:00

Quick Thought -

It's always kind of cool when you go to a conference and actually learn something that IMMEDIATELY applies to your life. In this case it's my work life, but they kinda blend together. It's also really cool when you get answers to the questions you know that someone will be asking you later.

I'm pumped.

Way to go DC08!

The Wonders of a Maid...

2008-05-16T18:21:00.003-04:00

Yesterday morning when I returned to my room, housekeeping was here cleaning up. I said hello and quickly picked up what I needed - I was slightly surprised to see her vacuuming around me. But that's besides the point.

Later in the day when I returned to my room I headed into the bathroom only to find it different from the way I left it. I had hurried out for breakfast (hello, totally didn't want to miss the free continental breakfast!) and didn't have time to clean up the mess of getting ready. I came back to this:

While a part of me can thoroughly appreciate the strategic placing of the items, it freaks me out. I'm completely not used to someone picking up, moving and reorganizing my things.

Apparently I am not "wired up" to be a rich person where random people do such things.

Livin in Style...

2008-05-14T22:56:00.005-04:00

A few of my coworkers and I are in Dallas getting ready to attend the Dynamic Church Conference for the next few days. Three of us are presenting at a breakout session tomorrow as well. We chose to stay in the hotel that is attached to the conference center, an Embassy Suites. I had recently glanced at their website, but had no idea how amazing the hotel room (or should I say suite) would be! (Oh, and it worked out that since I am way outnumbered by males, I got a room all my own...)

Being that I work at a place that constantly tries for the "WOW" factor, I'm always on the look out. This place has wow-ed me. I even took pictures to prove it :)

I didn't take this picture, I took it off their site - pretty sweet digs, huh!?

Inside of hotel - I'm on the 9th floor

Fancy sculpture thing

This is whoat my towels look like on the bath tub - this was a big WOW for me!

I thought this was very inventive...

This is my living room

Other side of the living room - nice little desk/office space

You know it's a fancy place when the tissues are strategically arranged. It made me afraid to use one - I didn't want to mess it up!

Which bed do I want to sleep in...this one??

Or this one?? (I chose this one, if you were curious)

Kitchenette

Fancy bathroom display. I really liked this...small but impactful to my opinion of the hotel

View of the bathroom - love the mirror too - it has style

Red Letters

2008-05-13T09:51:00.003-04:00

Recently at GCC Trace and Seth performed the song Red Letters by DC Talk. I had heard a clip of the song as a preview on itunes and it didn't thrill me, so needless to say I went into the service expecting not to be impressed.

Instead I was completely blown away.

Play by Play

2008-05-09T20:34:00.002-04:00

5:50 a.m. - alarm goes off, vaguely remember hitting snooze
5:58 a.m. - second alarm goes off, vaguely remember hitting snooze
6:20 a.m. - many snoozes later, decide headache and tiredness wins over gym for today
8:45 a.m. - get in deep spiritual conversation at work, good stuff
10:00 a.m. - asked to be "fake" bridesmaid in setup for wedding
10:13 a.m. - trip stepping onto platform, fall down awkwardly, feel pain, try to be tough
10:14 a.m. - notice big toe is bleeding, still trying to be tough
10:14:30 a.m. - notice toe is really bleeding, realize must stop bleeding
10:15 a.m. - make it to bathroom, start cleaning wound and assessing damage. Split second concern over how bad, hoping no stitches are needed
10:15:30 a.m. - realize toes just bleed alot, no stitches needed, but nasty, big slice on the pad of toe = not good
10:16 a.m. - start to realize what injury means, no treadmill at the gym for a while, sadness sets in
10:21 a.m. - toe bandaged up, throbbing starts, thankful for computer tower to prop foot up on
11:01 a.m. - realize gas and brake pedals pushed by toes - must drive differently, feel like 16 year old learning to drive
2:42 p.m. - working from home while awaiting Sears to deliver new washing machine
3:05 p.m. - suddenly realize work project isn't as easy as expected, minor panic sets in - big project + vacation next week = Eek!
3:05:30 p.m. - scour house for chocolate, always helps to think clearer and refocus
3:07 p.m. - no chocolate to be found! Perplexed. Settle for Apple Jacks out of box, not the same
3:32 p.m. - Sears arrives
3:40 p.m. - Sears leaves, amazed at service and speed!
3:40:30 p.m. - contemplate returning to project, decide to play with new washer instead
3:50 p.m. - can not procrastinate any longer, sit down, focus and get determined. Stubborn side kicks in - can not allow program to outsmart me
4:45 p.m. - getting so close to accomplishment can barely hold in excitement
5:20 p.m. - first draft of project finished! Ready for feedback.
5:23 p.m. - more laundry, thankful for washing machine; running out of clean clothes, those nearby should be thankful too
8:32 p.m. - sit down to work on next project with upcoming due date, decide to blog instead

How will you respond?

2008-04-27T19:36:00.003-04:00

I recently saw this video on Kem's blog, which she originally got from Church Marketing Sucks. This is an amazing story of how Kinetic Church chose to react to losing 75% of the equipment they used to run their "portable" services. You gotta see this...

Thoughts

2008-04-27T18:07:00.002-04:00

I may possibly have finally figured out a solution to a problem I have been working on for a few weeks. It's looking very good so far. After a few more test runs, there may be a spur of the moment celebration of jumping around.
Have you noticed that all law office commercials are the same? Same look, same feel, same type of branding. If I ever got "injured in a car accident", I would go to the first company that decided to be original. What can I say, I like people who think outside of the box.
Are some types of dried fruit more important that others? Take raisins. Raisins are dried grapes, but does anyone call them dried grapes? Nope. They got a name of their own. Prunes. Prunes are dried plums, but does anyone call them dried plums? Nope. What about the other dried fruits - the apricots, the mangoes, the bananas, the apples, the cherries and all the many types in existence. Why are these fruits not as important? Why isn't all fruit treated alike?
I drink a Gatorade every morning at the gym (it keeps me from feeling light headed and woozy, so needless to say it's kind of important...) and I workout seven days a week. The Gatorade comes in an eight pack. I had been making a trip to Walmart every 8 days to by another pack of Gatorade. Only today did I realize I could actually purchase more than one at a time. Don't ask me how long this has been going on for - I won't tell you.

Rise Above This

2008-04-22T08:30:00.002-04:00

I saw this video on Corey's blog this morning, and something about it is so real, so powerful, I had to share it as well. (and if you were wondering, yes, I did immediately head to itunes and purchased it)

Mulberry Bushes

2008-04-21T21:25:00.002-04:00

This weekend we did some "spring cleaning" around our yard. You know, some of the basics - raking the leftover leaves, picking up sticks, getting frustrated by the acorn shell remnants from winter. And through this spring cleaning we discovered something in our backyard...

We have the beginnings of mulberry bushes growing up around our big evergreen trees, some even growing underneath the branches. I've never thought as mulberry bushes as a threat - they were always the bushes from the cute song my grandma taught me as a child. It's sometimes those things that don't appear to be threats that cause the most damage... Apparently mulberry plants can overtake everything nearby and choke out other plants and trees. They start off small and innocent looking, but in actually are very hard to get rid of.

It got me thinking - how many things in our lives do we let go because they seem small and innocent enough - not really expecting them to cause any real damage? And if we choose to ignore something that is small and only mildly dangerous, eventually it becomes large, out of control, extremely dangerous and incredibly hard to get rid of. It kind of reminds me of the small blood thirsty plant from the 1986 movie Little Shop of Horrors. It started off small and easy enough to please, and eventually became a man eating plant that controlled its owner, instead of the other way around.

There are specific times in my life I can look back to, and see those little things planting seeds around me - and I let them. I thought I could control them - they were small, why wouldn't I be able to? But it never works that way. They all ended up as mulberry bushes and man eating plants.

My spring cleaning served more than just a aesthetic purpose, it served as a reminder that sometimes you just need to be a little more careful what you let into your life. Otherwise, you may have a really hard time getting rid of it later.

A Matter of Perspective

2008-04-09T20:21:00.004-04:00

Everyday we make assumptions and judgements with the information we have. Even if we don't mean to, it happens. And it happens to the best of us. But what I've come to realize is how important it is to think about perspectives. There is always more to the story and there is always another side.

As most of you know, I have recently become addicted to LOST. When people ask me what it is about the show that keeps me coming back, my answer is simple - the complexity of the characters and what a difference perspective makes. There is always more to the story. A character is never just as they seem. And that, to me, makes them more "real". We have all been judged by what we "seem" to be, and we have all judged others the same. I've come to learn that there is always more to the story than what you initially see - especially in every day life.

On Easter Sunday I was driving to church when I noticed a police car sitting beside a four way stop behind my church. My initial reaction was outrage. How dare he try to pull people over for speeding on Easter Sunday while trying to get to, or leave church! What kind of person does that!? I couldn't think of a single other reason why that cop would be sitting there on Easter morning. Imagine how horrible I felt when I left church later that morning only to discover traffic actually wasn't backed up - because the police officer, along with two others, were directing traffic at that four way stop. They were helping others - they were helping me - they were sacrificing their time.

And I realized there is always another perspective.

The '80s

2008-04-08T09:45:00.002-04:00

As most people know, I heart '80s music. Yep, I know, it's not something alot of people will admit. But I do.

So you can imagine my excitement when GCC dedicated an entire series to the '80s. All '80s music, all weekend for four weekends. Here's one of my favorites:

Whack

2008-04-03T22:10:00.002-04:00

Tonight was a slap in the face for me.

There's a worship song we often sing that reminds me of India. Every time I hear it I can see the people's faces. It causes moisture to build up in my eyes. It makes my hurt stir. But tonight was different.

When I started singing the words something else happened. A realization. And it wasn't pretty.

August 2006 I went on a missions trip to India. When we were there, I promised people I would pray for them. I made a commitment to myself to pray for the women church planters there - the women I love.

I broke that promise. And what makes it worse is that I didn't even realize it until now.

How often do we have the best of intentions - our heart is in the right place, and there is no doubt that this time will be different. And how many of those times do we actually follow through?

I've made a conscious effort over the last year that when people ask me to pray for them, or something going on in their lives, I pray right then - before I get a chance to get distracted or forget. With diligence, I have improved. But it never once occurred to me to think about the people in the past that I have made a commitment to pray for.

Tonight, one simple song reminded me of all the people and things I've always meant to pray for - that I have added to some "mental list" - but never did.

Maybe it's time to put my new habits to use to make good on my old commitments...

Quality

2008-03-25T09:13:00.002-04:00

Unfortunately, when you utilize YouTube, you lose quality. It's a great tool, and I personally am a huge fan of YouTube. It's easy to pass on, anyone can watch it, it's great. But there is that one downfall. The quality.

So if you caught GCC Plays Simon (from my last post) on YouTube, check it out on our Media Player. The difference is astounding. (Plus you can make it bigger by selecting 2X or FS)

Watch it and tell me you can't see how much cooler it is :)

GCC Does Simon

2008-03-24T16:44:00.004-04:00

Curious how GCC celebrates Easter? Check it out here. OR catch a small glimpse on YouTube of GCC playing our own version of the 80's game SIMON. What can I say, who doesn't love glowsticks?! (I gotta say though, YouTube just doesn't do it justice...)

Randomness

2008-03-17T18:16:00.003-04:00

I've been "blog-silent" for a few weeks now (who knew!?!) because life has been overwhelming. It's not for lack of ideas - I've had plenty spinning through my head - unfortunately life has gotten in the way of my blogging.

So today, I give you, randomness.

Friday I had on flip-flops. Today I got pelted in the face by sleet. It hurt.

Why is it that when you have a diabetic staying at your house that suddenly all you want is a donut?

There's a new Walmart. It's only two miles away. I've been there twice in six days. It still has that "new store" look.

I started experiencing stress headaches last week. They suck. I don't recommend them.

I'm so addicted to LOST I ended up burning 1,000 calories at the gym yesterday so I could get farther in my show.

I've been watching a lot of old movies lately. I love their subtle humor.

Microsoft Outlook has ruined my typing - it automatically fixes all my errors. I've had to use the backspace a lot already in this post.

Soon after I posted this - I was eating toast at work while talking to a co-worker. She started laughing. When I asked why, she told me because I threw away my last bite. I didn't even realize I did it.

I tried forcing myself to eat toast differently - outside in - it didn't taste as good. I'm back to my old, strange ways. Hey - don't judge.

Not on my wish list:

2008-02-29T18:30:00.001-05:00

Love this

2008-02-26T17:19:00.001-05:00

When you least expect it...

2008-02-26T15:30:00.003-05:00

Two full days last week were spent in a conference room talking about data structure. A few of us from our team got together with a bonafide "data guru" (not his official title, but hey, that's what he was!) I know; sounds boring, sounds tedious, sounds tiring. And it could have been. But more than anything it was insightful, it was refreshing, it was encouraging. I came away with a lighter heart...and a brain packed so full of information I couldn't even begin to process. (Of course I was sick at the same time, so that could have been why as well...)

Today I started really thinking about last week. About what I learned. And it suddenly occured to me. I learned a lot more than data structure, than the best way to use our system. I learned some things about life too. Guess you just never know when or how God might teach you something...or remind you of things you already knew.

Maybe sometimes your instincts are right, and you just need to dig a little further. Sometimes you just need to trust yourself.

Don't be afraid of the unknown.

If you think there must be an easier way, there just might be.

Ask the right questions.

Don't assume anything.

Just because something has always been done one way, doesn't mean it's right.

Sometimes you know more than you realize.

Some changes aren't as big as you may think.

Others are.

Sometimes you just need to ask for help. You don't have to do everything on your own.

A little extra work now, may save you time later. Sometimes you need to think ahead before moving forward.

While it may be possible to do something, and be seemingly effectively, that doesn't mean it's right. You never know how one thing may effect another.

Everyone has a story.

God has a plan bigger than all of us.

Star Wars...kinda...

2008-02-25T20:38:00.000-05:00

This made me smile today.

Two weeks in a nutshell

2008-02-25T16:48:00.002-05:00

Brief overview of the last two weeks:

Two weeks ago - Big projects at work + deadline = a lot of hours worked
One week ago - Wake up with scratchy throat. Scared of the possibility of getting sick. Two important days of meetings coming. Can't miss either.
One week ago minus one day - The cold/flu sets in. Not as bad as could be - but still not good
Go through a box of puffs in record time.
Manage to make it through the extra hours and meetings. Body completely rundown. No gym for me.
No gym means no LOST. Sad.
Couldn't get a good nights sleep all week. Not happy. Details later.
Take the weekend to relax and recover. Finally get sleep. *signal the chorus of angels*
Make a few easy attempts at the gym - only walk. No incline. No speed. Very little calorie burn. UG.

Present Day:

Very few tissues needed a day - good sign
Return to the gym. Not "normal" workout but incline was utilitized. Step in the right direction
Afternoon off - napped, watched LOST, good day
Surprise phone call - smiled.

Snippets

2008-02-14T21:38:00.002-05:00

I've had an extremely busy week so far. It's been one of those weeks where you can't remember exactly what all you've done or where you've been when. Keep that in mind as you read the following snippets floating around my little brain tonight.

You know you're tired when you forget to pack jeans to wear for the day in your gym bag.
Sad thing is I thought my bag was awfully light and wasn't coherent enough to question why. Tonight I made a list of everything I must have - hopefully I'll remember to look at it.
Habits and accountability. Two amazing things when done correctly.
How much lotion can one person go through in the winter?! I could probably sit in a vat of it for hours and STILL get dry skin an hour later.
I posted a few weeks ago about the strange types of pizza I like. Apparently I'm not alone. YAY!
One of the new treadmills at the gym doesn't work to play tv shows off my ipod. I stopped my workout and switched machines. Screw my heart rate, I wanted to watch LOST :)
Being able to cross things off my to-do list makes me happy.
Although the to-do list never stops growing.
I love that my co-workers and I can laugh with each other about the dumb things we do.
The Writer's Strike is over and many of my tv shows will be back on the air soon! Too bad I have to wait until next spring for 24. I hear good things come to those who wait - but that's a lot of waiting.
Speaking of patience - I heard once that maybe God puts us in situations to help us learn patience instead of just giving it to us. Thoughts?
I think of the above question a lot. In my life, it seems to be true. Wonder if it's just me.

It's Time...

2008-02-14T21:11:00.002-05:00

The senior pastor of GCC has finally entered the blogging world - Welcome Mark Beeson!

This is definitely a blog you will want to follow. I've learned many things from him over the years and I have never met someone so on fire for God.

Let me tell you, I'm pumped!

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love My Ipod

2008-02-12T20:43:00.001-05:00

I love music. And an ipod holds tons of it. 'Nough said.
When I need to do stats for my job, putting my headphones in helps me focus and whip it out in now time.
I can be impulsive - and when I decide I want something, I often want it now. The itunes store rocks in that circumstance.
My workouts would cease to exist without fast paced tunage to get me going.
I can block out the world when I need some "me" time.
It connects to the treadmills at my gym so I can watch tv shows from my ipod on the bigger screen in front of me. The time I spent doing cardio doubled. In less than two weeks people were noticing.
Suddenly shoveling is a little less tedious when there are tunes to accompany it.
It introduced me to Dexter - one of my new favorite tv shows - and I will forever be grateful. Dexter + ipod = obsession with the gym!
Um, hello, podcasts. When I struggle with digging into the bible, I can tune into a thought provoking podcast that gets me motivated again.
I'm a random person. The shuffle feature plus all the many songs available at my fingertips fits me quite well.

And one reason why I don't love my ipod - it can be really easy to forget no one else can hear the music but you.

Brilliant Idea!

2008-02-10T19:32:00.000-05:00

This is one of the most inventive, yet simple solutions I have seen yet for the water problem in third world countries. After going to India and seeing where their water comes from, this makes me happy. And hopeful.

2008-02-05T08:42:00.001-05:00

How many trips to the kitchen does it take to get a spoon for yogurt?

Apparently, in my world, it takes three.

Or at least it did this morning.

Randomness

2008-01-30T20:27:00.001-05:00

Due to my lack of ability to compose a deep thought right now, or in the last few days for that matter, I give you...randomness.

Today felt as if I live in a tundra. I don't. I live in northern Indiana. Something is wrong with this picture.
Having your nose hairs freeze on a quick walk into a building is whacked.
I've successful gone to the gym for 12 days in a row including twice on Monday. It feels great to get back in the everyday habit.
The gym has some new machines I love. The squat and glute machines have me walking like an aching old woman. But that just makes me want to use them even more.
Some big changes with a family member - more details later
A few weeks ago I decided to get a down comforter. Long story short, I got a great deal on one and on a micro-suede duvet cover. After I had that I figured I deserved some comfy sheets too (I already had a new down-alternative pillow that I love and take everywhere with me!) Thanks to Christmas returns and gift cards, my bed is one of my favorite places. Only downfall is that I don't want to get out of it in the morning!
Okay, a second note on my down comforter - I used to sleep with a sheet, blanket, comforter and electric blanket (with the occasional throw on top) - yes, I know, that sounds like a lot. It was. I could barely move, but that was the only way I was warm! Now all I have is a sheet and my comforter. Life is good. Plus I can move now.
The new treadmills at the gym has an amazing feature - you plug your ipod and headphones into the machine, and you can watch your videos on a hdtv attached to the treadmill. I love doing cardio now! Although my wallet may not like it. My new tv show of choice is Dexter. One episode and I'm addicted. I can't wait to hit the gym in the morning!
I wasn't feeling good last night. I fell asleep at 645. So I was walking like an old person and sleeping like an old person. Sad I know.