A few days ago I found myself going back through my blog - for a completely random not so important purpose that I am currently pleading the 5th on - and started to realize how many things I have forgotten. Ironically some of those posts are starting to smack me right upside the head. Who knew?
This one really hit me. Partially because I originally stole it off a friends blog and partially because I can't for the life of me remember who it was who wrote it. It occurs to me that maybe it's supposed to be that way...
The stuff in this short little post is enough to really get you thinking. I know it has gotten me thinking once again...
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One of my amazing friends recently posted a blog - her words left me in awe. It spoke the words that many feel but never form themselves.
Since many of you may not be privy to be her friend on facebook, I decided to "steal" her words to share them with all of you. Check it out and see what I mean :
I'm sitting in a coffee shop, surrounded by many, yet feeling alone and i'm wondering... what things in life are truely worth the risk? I take risks every day.
I risk being late every time i hit my snooze button.
I risk getting a ticket every time i speed.
I risk burning my mouth every time i take a sip of coffee.
I risk falling every time i wear high heels.
But what's really so risky about these things? So what? I could be late, get a speeding ticket, lose some taste buds, fall on my face or all of these things in the same day and there really isn't going to be that much damage.
Then there are the things that seem really risky... too risky.
Telling someone you love something ugly about yourself.
Trusting someone you want to love.
Trusting someone in general.
Loving someone in general.
Allowing yourself to be known well enough to be truly loved by someone.
So what heppens if i continue fearing things like love, trust and being known? I guess i'm not really sure. I do think that a life w/o risk is a life not worth living. And i don't be the i-didn't-brush-my-teeth-last-night kind of risk. I mean the i-could-get-my-heart-ripped-out-again kind of risk, or the i-may-die-trying-this kind of risk. Doesn't the size of the risk say something about the size of the possible pay off?
Anyway, i guess i'm just deciding to risk again. Maybe that means trust, maybe that means love or maybe that means letting myself be known. Whatever it is, i think i can feel it coming... i'm not sure i'm ready, but i'm not going to run.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Waiting
I've never been someone who's good at waiting. From birth, showing up two weeks early, I've always had a hard time with waiting. Don't get me wrong, I've had to do my fair share of waiting. One would think that I would have gotten used to it by now, but unfortunately it doesn't work that way.
For years I took God out of the picture. If he asked me to wait, I just went ahead with my own plan. I didn't want to wait, I couldn't see how God could make anything better come out of making me wait. I always thought "Hey, he's God! If he really wanted such and such to happen, he could just go ahead and do it right now." So in my warped sense of reality, if God didn't act now, he'd turn my plan into his plan and we'd all live happily ever after.
Then a few years ago I finally tried it God's way. I waited. And waited. And waited some more. And one day, God blew me away. His plan was better than anything I could have even possibly fathomed for myself. The period of waiting was worth it.
Waiting still isn't easy for me, and I doubt it ever will be. The greatest things in life are rarely the "easy" things. There is one thing I know - I don't want to cut God's story short in my life because waiting seems too hard. Once you take that chance, and actually wait on God and his plan for your life, it'll blow you away too. And the next time you must wait...and the time after that...and the time after that...you know it'll be worth it then too. It always is. Because He always does everything right - everything.
Isaiah 30:18
But God’s not finished. He’s waiting around to be gracious to you.
He’s gathering strength to show mercy to you.
God takes the time to do everything right—everything.
Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones.
For years I took God out of the picture. If he asked me to wait, I just went ahead with my own plan. I didn't want to wait, I couldn't see how God could make anything better come out of making me wait. I always thought "Hey, he's God! If he really wanted such and such to happen, he could just go ahead and do it right now." So in my warped sense of reality, if God didn't act now, he'd turn my plan into his plan and we'd all live happily ever after.
Then a few years ago I finally tried it God's way. I waited. And waited. And waited some more. And one day, God blew me away. His plan was better than anything I could have even possibly fathomed for myself. The period of waiting was worth it.
Waiting still isn't easy for me, and I doubt it ever will be. The greatest things in life are rarely the "easy" things. There is one thing I know - I don't want to cut God's story short in my life because waiting seems too hard. Once you take that chance, and actually wait on God and his plan for your life, it'll blow you away too. And the next time you must wait...and the time after that...and the time after that...you know it'll be worth it then too. It always is. Because He always does everything right - everything.
Isaiah 30:18
But God’s not finished. He’s waiting around to be gracious to you.
He’s gathering strength to show mercy to you.
God takes the time to do everything right—everything.
Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
30 Days
Last week at our staff meeting we were broached with a question - if you found out you would die in 30 days, what would you do?
Some might think this is an easy question to answer.
But it's harder than at first glance.
It's hard to fathom that your life could suddenly end in one month's time. Would you want to know? Would it hinder how you live your life? Even if you did know, would you choose to continue life as it is? What might you do differently? Who would you spend time with? What would you do?
It's something to think about. If you're curious, here's my thoughts on my last 30 days:
Last week, when asked this question, there were two things I wanted to do: spend time with my loved ones, and sell everything & travel the world.
But, when I'm being completely honest with myself, traveling is not what is important to me. People are. The people I love are. Traveling would be the easy road again - see everyone, say goodbye, and then distract myself from the pain of what's to come. Of knowing I had a short time left to live. And that is not what I want my last days to look like when I stand before God. And I would never want to put my family and friends through that added pain.
So while my list is different than I originally thought, this list is me. This is who I am. My only question now is, why am I not doing a better job of these things when my days are not numbered.
Some might think this is an easy question to answer.
But it's harder than at first glance.
It's hard to fathom that your life could suddenly end in one month's time. Would you want to know? Would it hinder how you live your life? Even if you did know, would you choose to continue life as it is? What might you do differently? Who would you spend time with? What would you do?
It's something to think about. If you're curious, here's my thoughts on my last 30 days:
- I wouldn't complain so much about getting up early. I would want to have as many waking hours as possible with the people I love. I wouldn't want, on Day 29, to look back and wish I had just a few more hours.
- I would visit as many family members and close friends as possible. Not just to sit around and mope together, but to make memories. To have random fun, take tons of pictures and laugh our heads off. To love each other without abandon or fear.
- I would say things that need to be said, but have instead chosen the easy road. Things like: I'm sorry. I forgive you. Please forgive me. I love you. You're being an idiot. Please stop hurting yourself. Please stop punishing yourself. Let love in. Let God in. I'm praying for you. You are loved. You are missed. You are appreciated. You have made a difference in my life. You matter. You matter to me. You matter to God. Just try. Trust God - He really does know better than us. You helped me to become the woman I am today. Thank you.
- I'd write letters to those I am leaving behind - to give them a piece of me to hold onto when I'm gone.
- I'd make hilariously stupid videos to help people to laugh in the first few days after I'm gone.
- I'd put together a playlist for my funeral - and insist it be used. Music full of love, hope and laughter.
Last week, when asked this question, there were two things I wanted to do: spend time with my loved ones, and sell everything & travel the world.
But, when I'm being completely honest with myself, traveling is not what is important to me. People are. The people I love are. Traveling would be the easy road again - see everyone, say goodbye, and then distract myself from the pain of what's to come. Of knowing I had a short time left to live. And that is not what I want my last days to look like when I stand before God. And I would never want to put my family and friends through that added pain.
So while my list is different than I originally thought, this list is me. This is who I am. My only question now is, why am I not doing a better job of these things when my days are not numbered.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Stand By Me
I love music.
I love the emotions a few minutes of notes and lyrics can evoke inside of me.
This song never ceases to make me close my eyes, listen to the words and feel the music deep in my soul. Until I saw this video, I didn't realize how much stronger my reaction could be.
Take 5 minutes. Watch this video. Don't watch the first 20 seconds and then shake your head at me - watch the whole thing. Trust me - you'll thank me later.
I love the emotions a few minutes of notes and lyrics can evoke inside of me.
This song never ceases to make me close my eyes, listen to the words and feel the music deep in my soul. Until I saw this video, I didn't realize how much stronger my reaction could be.
Take 5 minutes. Watch this video. Don't watch the first 20 seconds and then shake your head at me - watch the whole thing. Trust me - you'll thank me later.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Whoa
As you can probably tell by the lack of activity on my blog recently, I've been busy. Not just everyday busy. BIG busy. Remind yourself to breathe busy. Leave town for the weekend as the only way to recharge busy.
But that hasn't kept thoughts from spinning and blog posts from being composed in my brain. I got stuff to say. Just no time or energy to say it right now.
I will leave you this to ponder on:
Sometimes I think we take for granted being part of something bigger than ourselves...
But that hasn't kept thoughts from spinning and blog posts from being composed in my brain. I got stuff to say. Just no time or energy to say it right now.
I will leave you this to ponder on:
Sometimes I think we take for granted being part of something bigger than ourselves...
Monday, May 25, 2009
Experiments in Baking
Tonight I decided to take an idea from the Food Network, and experiment to make it my own.
And I succeeded. In a big way.
It was fun, and my taste buds are pretty darn happy if I do say so myself.
At the request of one of my brilliant friends, I have created a photo journey of my experiment in baking. I don't recommend viewing this journey while hungry - your stomach may try to gnaw its way out of your body in an effort to eat the images right off your screen. Consider yourself warned.
And I succeeded. In a big way.
It was fun, and my taste buds are pretty darn happy if I do say so myself.
At the request of one of my brilliant friends, I have created a photo journey of my experiment in baking. I don't recommend viewing this journey while hungry - your stomach may try to gnaw its way out of your body in an effort to eat the images right off your screen. Consider yourself warned.
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