Thinking

Sometimes I think bad thoughts. Surprising I know. Most people won't admit it. Most Christians won't admit it. But we all know it's true.

Lately the vengeful side of my thought life has been flaring up. Yep, there are certain people who those thoughts are directed toward. Certain circumstances making me want to take action for the wrong reasons. And for a brief moment it is very alluring.

And it got me thinking...I was brought up with morals and values. I was taught the difference between right and wrong. And I knew there were consequences for making bad choices. That foundation is enough to keep me in check.

To some extent.

But what about the side of revenge that isn't black and white, right or wrong. The place where you are choosing to live your life to spite someone. The place that you can rationalize your actions as moral because you aren't "purposefully" hurting someone, it just so happens to occur as an after effect. Where does this fit in?

When I look around I see those kind of choices being made everyday, and people believing it's okay because they have convinced themselves they didn't actually "do" anything to hurt anyone. That it just kind of happened.

And I realized those bad thoughts will happen from time to time. That's our sinful nature. The difference is how we choose to act on those thoughts. I choose not to purposefully hurt others, even if it is just an after effect. My reason? God calls us to love others. He says it more times in the Bible than I can count. He doesn't say to even the playing field. He doesn't say it's okay to hurt others if they have hurt you. He asks us to love. We have been given an amazing gift called grace. But it isn't just for us...it's for everyone. So, even when it's not easy, I am choosing love.

And I am grateful I have grace if I sometimes screw it up...