Sunday, December 31, 2006

The calm of morning

If you have known me for more than a few minutes, you know that I am not a morning person. I hate having to get up out of my warm bed - given the chance, I will go back to bed at any time. Only recently did I start to contemplate why.

As a child I was a morning person. I liked to get up early and go walking (or in my case running) with dad. Didn't matter what time it was, I would get up and love it! I wouldn't even be tired later that day. I think my transition to a night person came with the high school/college years. All my friends stayed up extremely late and over time I too was able to stay up later and later.

In more recent years I think my night tendencies drew from two things. One - I am too social for my own darn good and I love spending time with people, so I tend to stay out later than I should to be with them. And two - I enjoy the quiet and peacefulness of the night. My house very rarely is silent. Very rarely do I get to sit and enjoy being by myself. I have just naturally changed my habits over time so that I go to bed later than everyone else so I can enjoy time doing whatever I want to do. I love this time I have. The only problem is that normally I am so tired and wornout after my day that all I do is veg. Occasionally I will read, but normally not something that requires too much thinking.

Only this morning did I discover the calmness of morning.

Due to circumstances out of my control, I had to get up early. (or in other words there was a little dog waiting for me to drive over and save his little bladder and fill his never-ending tummy) Hearing my alarm go off after only 5 hours of sleep most definitely did not thrill me. But I pulled myself up, brushed my teeth and headed out to my car on this rainy morning. In my eyes it was not shaping up to be a top notch day. But something changed during the 15 minute drive. I noticed how peaceful everything was. I started seeing God in the morning. I started talking to God in the morning, truly talking. I started to see what I had taken for granted. The calm of the morning that comes just as the calm of night does. Only this time, I wasn't worn out from my day. I didn't want to "veg". I wanted to be with God.

And this morning I was.

For the first time in a long time I was truly, completely with God. And I heard Him take a sigh of relief that I was finally in tune to his quiet call on my life.

Things have changed in the last two hours as others have been sleeping. Boy have things been changing...

Friday, December 29, 2006


The last few days have been filled with thinking, contemplating, questiong and flat out ignoring. While that may sound like an odd combination on paper (or webpage), in reality I believe most of us do this quite often. I find myself thinking sometimes and then choosing to flat out ignore what I don't want to hear. I call it selective thinking.

For one example - a few weeks ago I started reading the book In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson. Its a book about fear. Part of me didn't want to read it at all because it talks extensively about facing your fears, and going after the risks. I am not one who likes to do so. I actually put it down on multiple occasions because it was hard for me to read. The words on the page frightened me enough. But yesterday and today I started reading again. This time truly thinking about the things I didn't want to deal with. And I learned a lot about myself that I don't like. A few things I knew already and thought I had dealt with, but hadn't. Things in my past and past relationships had instilled fear in me - the self-preservation mode that I have lived in for so many years. The steps I had taken were not nearly drastic enough. And I realized that I need to learn to fully trust God. How, I don't know. God and I are working on that. I just know that I am tired of living this way. This is not the person I want to be.

Its ironic how I can look behind me and see how far I have come, even in the last year, but then I look ahead and see how far I have to go still. And I need to remember that I am never going to be perfect. And thats okay.

Thursday, December 21, 2006


The following takes place between 11:58 p.m. and 12 a.m. on Dec. 24

Would you expect anything less than me, the 24 addict!?!?

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Yes, I am now a victim as well

The last few weeks sickness has been running rampant all around me! Multiple people have had colds, flu and stomach issues. I had been able to sneak past with only a few tiny symptoms. The keyword in that sentence is "had".

Yesterday I got hit.

My throat got all scratchy, I couldn't breathe and my head hurt like I had been hit by a monsterous size truck (and not the good kind I like either!) I kept trying to tell myself I wasn't getting sick and I started taking large amounts of Vitamin C, echinacea and green tea supplements. Honestly, if I had the option, I would have gone home sick from work. I wasn't productive at all. Unfortunately there was no way that could happen.

I finally admitted I must be getting sick when at 815 last night I decided to go to bed. This wouldn't seem abnormal except I am a 26 year old, not an 86 year old! This was atleast 3 hours before my normal bedtime. I downed some nyquil, turned my cell phone off after it woke me up once (I never turn my cell off at night) and slept until 8. The plan was to get up at 700 and workout since I didn't feel good enough to do it last night, only when morning came I felt worse and made the executive decision that my body needed the extra hour sleep. I can't remember the last time I had nearly 12 hours of sleep.

I still feel the urge to curl up with a blanket and hide from the world til this passes. Unfortunately, once again, going home sick from work is not an option (why I get sick when I don't have the option to be sick shows the irony of my life). So here I am, stuffing myself full of vitamins, trying to avoid going to the drug store and getting real drugs, in hopes that I can fight this off myself. Meanwhile, my working out has gone by the wayside. Hopefully I will be up for it tonight.

I hate being sick.

Although this year is better than last when I got laryngitis and couldn't talk at all. Talk about devastating! To read exactly how I felt, here's a link to my post last year! Irony once again is that it was one year ago yesterday that I lost my voice and yesterday is when I got sick.. BLAH!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Thursday, December 14, 2006

My motivation

Many people have asked me what my motivation was for changing my lifestyle. There have been many factors, and the following are just a few....

- The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight and get in shape. I don't want to wait any longer.

- I have cute smaller clothes I can't wear anymore.

- I used to be thinner and want to be that person, minus another size or two...

- My sister has finally started changing her eating and working out, making it a lot easier to eat healthier at home. If there isn't any junk to eat when temptation hits, I'm less likely to stumble.

- I hear all the time about childhood obesity. I figure if I change my whole lifestyle now, someday when I have children they will have the same healthy eating habits that I have. I want my future children to have a chance in this fast food world.

- I feel so much better!

And lastly...whenever I need added motivation as to why I want to workout and eat healthier, I look at old pictures of myself....and this is my motivation:

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Lighter note...

On a more lite, random note...

I have been changing my lifestyle lately. The last 6 weeks I have completely changed my diet and have been working out practically everyday. I feel great! And I have finally started seeing differences in how my clothes fit (I've lost close to 2 inches around my hips!!) and my confidence level is much higher! Anyway, I have decided that this time it is not a "diet" This is a lifestyle change. I plan on continuing to eat this way and workout for the rest of my life. I have never had more energy or felt healthier before! I can't believe I am going to admit this, but I LOVE zucchini. So far there are three ways I have fixed it recently that I find myself CRAVING on a regular basis! Who woulda thunk a chocolate junky craving zucchini!?!

Well, today I noticed when I got slightly more dressed up for work than my outfit of late (khakis and such) that my dress pants are bigger now. So anyway, I am dressed all cute and stuff...I got an adorable new haircut last night...and....

I just got checked out by a very attractive guy in the lab! For once someone who is not completely freaky checked me out! YEAH!

Now if I could just make the freaky, creepy, obsessive ones leave me alone...

Little Happy Snippets...

I am happy.

Really happy.

The last few weeks God has really been doing a makeover in my life. I have been questioning in tons, struggling through many and suffering with some. But at the end of that period, I am a better, stronger person for having experienced it and traveling through. I have learned to be more dependent on God and less afraid to give up my independence.

The major step for me happened Monday night at Merge. Jason was gave everyone the opportunity to write down what we needed to let God have and to place it at the cross. After having coffee and discussion the day before about many things that I have been struggling through, I knew immediately that this was God's way of opening his arms up to me once again. He made it so easy for me to just let go, give up control, and run into his arms.

It's funny how God often appears right when you need Him to... only sometimes we are so wrapped up in ourselves we miss his oh-so-gentle tap. I'm glad this time I didnt miss it...

Christmas Letter From God

**Jeanna's sidenote - I got this from an amazing woman's blog, who got it from her dad. It really made me stop and think and I had to share it with everyone here **

Dear Children,

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season. Maybe you've forgotten that I wasn't actually born during this time of the year and that it was some of you're predecessors who decided to celebrate My birthday on what was actually a time of pagan festival; although, I do appreciate being remembered anytime.

How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth just, GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

Now, having said that let Me go on.

If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn. If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can and may remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching that explains who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks are. If you have forgot that one, look at John 15:1-8.

If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it.

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3. Instead of writing George W. complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up. It will be nice hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.

5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.

6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile it could make the difference. Also, you might consider supporting the local Hot-Line: they talk with people like that every day.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families.

8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary, especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name. You may already know someone like that.

9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them (and I suspect you don't) buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Marines, the Salvation Army or some other charity that believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.

10. Finally if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.

P.S. Don't forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those you love and, remember, I LOVE YOU.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Whacked Upside the Head

Sometimes when you pray for an answer or guidance, God surprises you by smacking you upside the head with the answer. I take this as his way of making sure he is coming across loud and clear - especially when I should already know the answer.
This happened on a whole new level for me on Tuesday.
Tuesday was a bad day at work. It was a horrible morning. Things started falling apart and I was feeling hopeless.
So as I was washing my hands in the bathroom I started talking to God. I just told him I knew I needed to have faith in him, but that I couldnt right then and he needed to help me. Then I headed back to my desk. A few minutes later I was messing around online, and checked my email. I am subsribed to the Mutts comic strip that gets emailed to me every day. Granted they are about two weeks behind before they get emailed, but I still love to read them everyday. I opened up the comic for about a whap upside the head...

I literally stopped and just stared at the computer screen. This was a completely different Mutts comic than EVER before and here it was practically yelling at me that I need to be thankful in all circumstances. Then God proceeded to do something that completely amazed me at that time....He blessed me.
I had just finished filling out a Christmas Survey, filling in my favorite all time Christmas song as Winter Wonderland. Now I know this is a random song to choose, but it means more to me than any other song. When my sister and I were little my dad would awake us the first morning it snowed by singing Winter Wonderland. I loved it. I always looked forward to the first snow because I knew he would be singing. Then as I got older, and my parents got divorced, he would always call on the first snow and sing. Even now, with him in Florida, if he sees its snowing online, he calls. Or I will call him and he will sing. It always makes me smile and giggle when he sings to me. Well, after I had filled out this survey, I hopped on myspace and checked out Stephanies profile. Only to hear my favorite song playing. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Ironically, two days later, the song was deleted from the artists myspace. It was there when I needed it, and then it was gone.
Then yesterday, when my day before's Mutts comic came into my inbox...look at what I saw...

And then this morning look at yesterday's and today's comics...

Obviously God got his point across. Quite vividly...

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Welcome to the 2006 Holiday Edition of Getting to Know Your Friends! You know the drill. Highlight, copy, and paste (not forward or reply) and change my answers to your answers, AND POST INTO A NEW BULLETIN!!! Enjoy!! Everyone has time for a few moments of fun! Don't be a scrooge!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Dark Chocolate Hot Chocolate with the occasional glass of eggnog

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
He wraps most of them but leaves one thing unwrapped with my name card on it

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
White - our tree has so many different colors from ornaments that the white looks nicer

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
Nope, used to when I was a kid

5. When do you put your decorations up?
Normally the weekend after Thanksgiving, but this year hopefully tonight and tomorrow night (I just couldnt get motivated when it was 60 degrees outside!)

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Spinach Dip in Hawaiian bread

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child?
My sister and I staying up late making Christmas cards for our parents by flashlight on a little table in my room, OR My sister and I getting up early and just sitting and looking at the tree all lit up waiting until we could get my parents up

8. When did you learn the truth there was no Santa?
I saw a present in my mom's closet and then on Christmas it said it was from Santa. (I also set out to figure it out by setting out a ton of Christmas cookies, more than I knew my parents could ever eat, and then counting how many were left in the container in case any of them would reappear there)

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
When I was a kid we had Christmas with my Grandma and Grandpa Miller on Christmas Eve, but we open all gifts on Christmas now.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
With white lights and all the ornaments we have collected over the years. I love unwrapping them and remembering some I have forgotten about...

11. Snow..Love it or Dread it?
Love it right now! Its so beautiful! Will probably dread it come January or February

12. Can you ice skate?

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
My cabbage patch kid doll

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
Pecan Pie or our homemade cookies!

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Waking up and opening gifts in pjs

17. What tops your tree?
An angel we have had since we were little

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving?
I love finding the perfect gift and seeing someone's face as the open it - its the best!

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
Winter Wonderland - my dad used to sing it to us as kids on the first snow. Now either he calls, or I call him, and he still sings to me :)

20. Candy Canes..yuck or yummy?
Yummy for a few minutes

21. Fave Christmas Movie?
Original Grinch

Reality Bites

I'm depressed. The two women I work with are depressed. It's a very depressing day here.

Things lately at work have gone from bad to worse. Just when you think people could not be any more insensitive or just down right horrible, they surprise you - they top themselves and reach to whole new levels of crappiness.

I'm having trouble working.

I'm having trouble even enjoying my break.

I'm praying for a miracle. Just one. Although the miracle I am hoping for would have to be a big one...

Please pray for me. Please pray for my coworkers. Please pray for a miracle.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Change of Heart

When I was a kid I LOVED snow! I loved everything about it!

Somewhere along the line I turned cynical about snow. Last year I started to see snow for the beautiful thing it was, and although I still loved playing in the snow, only occasionally did I truly enjoy snow.

This year things have changed.

A few weeks ago I was chatting with my friend who is from Indiana, but is living in California. And something he said really stuck with me. He said he misses frost, scraping off his car, snow, all of the winter things we all tend to despise. All the things that he doesn't have in California.

It really made me stop and think - wow this should be a blessing to me. Even though snow frustrated me, the thought of living somewhere else without the seasons changing, without the temperature changing, without snow or cold for Christmas. I don't think I could live like that.

So I really started thinking and questioning...why had I become so pessimistic about snow and frost...I love nature, I connect to God through nature. And it suddenly hit me.

Last year God kept sending little moments - snippets - of the beauty he was trying to bless me with in the form of winter. One day last winter I was walking into Meijer with a friend and I happened to look up at the falling snow. It was absolutely beautiful how the light was coming through the flakes and gently falling on my face. Or one wintry morning when I saw a child catching snowflakes on his tongue.

This year I finally got "me" back. Last week I was actually broken hearted that the predicted snow didn't come. I missed it like I did as a child. And everyone thought I was crazy. Only this time, I didn't care. I wanted snow.

And this weekend it came :) And it was absolutely beautiful.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

More about ME!

100 Things You Didn't Want to Know About Me..

1. What is the last alcoholic beverage you drank?
I can't even remember...

2. Do you follow college football?
Only ND baby!

3. How many miles does your car have on it?
A lot

4. Who was the last person to send you a text message?
I think Tara

5. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
This summer Amber, Hailey and I went swimming. She was too cute!

6. Are you happy?
Most of the time

7. Where's the last place you went shopping?

8. How do you feel about your hair?
Ready for a change...hmm...what color...what style...hmmm...

10. Last thing you ate?
I splurged and had Chinese food. It wouldn't have been too unhealthy except I really wanted Crab Rangoon. Tasted good. Now its sitting in a pit in my stomach, blah!

11. Do you wish you were someplace else right now?
Yup...I'm at work so I wish I was pretty much anywhere else...

12. Least favorite ex-boyfriend/girlfriend?
Let's not go there...

13. Do you have any expensive jewelry?
If my grandmother's pearls count, yes.

14. AIM or MSN?

15. What classes are you taking?
None, but I teach some computer ones at work

16. How many hours on average do you work a week:

17. What is your favorite brand of makeup?:
Perscriptives when I can afford it

18. Favorite NFL team?
Da BEARS!!!!!!

19. Do you watch the Olympics?

20. Last bar you went to?
No clue

21. Who was the last person to call you?
Some number I dont recognize...

22. What's your sign?

23. Do you have a favorite number?
3, 7 or 37

24. Last time you did volunteer work or made any donations?

25. What do you spend the majority of your money on?
Paying off my debt and bills

26. Where does most of your family live?
All over the freakin place! Very extended family though mainly in Indiana

27. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
A brother and a sister

28. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?

29. Ever been called a bitch?

30. Got any guilty pleasures?
Yes I do...put them together and I get the giggles, hehe

31. Do you drink beer?
NO! yuck!

32. Have you ever experienced love?
Depends on which type of love...

33. Did you ever collect Beanie Babies?

34. Ever ordered anything online?
Heck yeah. is very addicting!

35. Myspace or Facebook?
Myspace because I can change so much on it all the time!

36. Do you have T-Mobile?

37. What was your favorite subject?

38. What are you doing tonight?
Serving in the Jungle Room and going to the first in the U2 series at church!

39. Do you usually fall for the "bad boys"?
Went through a short phase...thank goodness that's passed

40. Were you an outcast in high school?
No...I was in the "middle" range

41. Last time you saw your parents?
My mom this morning and my dad over the 4th

42. Do you have any talents?
Probably...I am great with babies and I love kids!

43. Ever been in a wedding?

44. Do you have any children?
Not yet, but someday!

45. Last movie you watched?
Part of the Polar Express

46. Are you missing anyone at the moment?

47. Did you take a nap today?
No :(

48. What was your high school's mascot?

49. Ever been on a cruise?
Nope - someday I hope!

50. Favorite vacation spot?
Where people I love are...added bonus if the scenery is beautiful! I definitely have to see more of the Grand Canyon sometime!

51. How many pets do you have?
None right now :(

52. Do you have any wealthy friends?

53. Ever meet anyone famous?

54. Favorite actress?
Sandra Bullock

56. Are you multi-tasking right now?
Actually, no for once I'm not

57. Could you handle being in the military?
Heck no

59. Favorite fast food restaurant?

60. Do you have any grandparents still alive?
One grandma

61. What is your average cell phone bill?

64. Do you believe in Karma?

65 Can you speak any other languages?
A few words of Spanish and I used to know some Japanese...if you dont use it you lose it though!

66. Last time you went to the gym or worked out?
I worked out this morning...and boy does it hurt to go down the stairs now! No Pain No Gain!

67. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
No clue. Not enough :)

68. Do you have a photo hosting site that you use?

69. Last place you drove your car:
To work just now

70. What is your college mascot?

71. Ever been to Las Vegas?
Nope, someday!

72. Nicest Hotel you ever stayed in?
Hyatt in Baltimore years ago

74. How much money did you make today?
No clue

75. What do you think is your best feature?
I have heard I have a great smile - but I never see it since I can't smile for cameras (I'm getting better though!)

76. Have you ever been gambling?
My uncle gave me a dollar a few years ago at the casino where we ate dinner. I played the Sea World slot machine. I got zilch!

77. How old are your parents? their 50's (I dont really feel like doing mental math right now!)

78. When is the last time you updated your blog?
No idea

79. Do you have your wisdom teeth?
Nope - they are long gone and it was a horrible experience!

80. Best chapstick?
I like the pretty colored ones!

81. Have you been to New York City?
Nope, someday!

82. Favorite sit down restaurant?
Probably Hana Yori or Papa Vino's

83. Ever been to Disney?
yup when I was a kid

84. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
Probably, but I can't think of which one right now!

85. Last thing you cooked?
I made my lunch for work this morning

86. How was the weather today?
Cold but there is snow now!!!

87. Do you e-mail?

88. Last letter/piece of mail you received besides junk or a bill?
Probably a card from Laura

89. Favorite store?
Kohl's or Target

90. Handbags, Shoes, or Sunglasses?

91. Last voicemail you received?

92. Do you drunk dial?
Since I dont get drunk anymore, No.

93. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
Dropped it right after I got it

94. What is the best city in the state that you have lived in?
No clue

95. Favorite band?
Rascal Flatts or David Crowder Band

96. Last time you were sick?
I've had a slight cold for a while now

97. Are you bored right now?

98. Last show you attended?
Does GCC count?

99. Do you watch reality tv?
Yup - I love the Biggest Loser (thats the only one I watch though!)

100. What are your plans for tomorrow?
Work, workout, decorate for Christmas, watch Gilmore Girls!

Thursday, November 30, 2006

And so goes the randomness...

What some people may not realize about me is that I really, truly am a random person. I just have a good inner filter. (Plus I dont always share everything running through my brain with people until I know them well)

Many of you by now have probably realized that I love random blogs. So even though I posted a random blog just a few days ago, here is another one.

What can I say...I have too many thoughts, questions and random factoids running through my brain! Some deep, some crazy, some thoughtful, some of everything...

~ I have some gray hairs. Apparently this fact shocks people. A few months ago Stephen noticed one and wigged out on me. And a few weeks ago Lindz found one and was equally as shocked. I guess I should take it as a compliment. Anyway, last night I pulled out a gray hair only to discover half was gray and half was brown. Has anyone else ever had this experience? Or am I just a freak?
~ I actually miss snow. *shudder* I can't believe I admitted it, but I do. It doesn't feel like Christmas is coming without having some. Thankfully this will be remedied tonight. Which, unfortunately, means that I will have to start waking up and leaving early to accomadate scraping and driving time.
~ Just read Corey Mann's blog from a few days ago, which linked to some random guys blog - it was so good I had to blog about it. Read it here! Its sooo worth it! (And its short!)
~ How come all the books I have been waiting for the library to get all show up at once! I need a week off to do nothing but stay home and read! Hey God can you snow us in for a week so I get paid to NOT work :)
~ How do we truly love people who constantly hurt us and lie to us? Where is the line of loving others and watching out for yourself? And the line of stretching yourself too far?
~ Do I tell people enough that I love them?
~ Do I show people enough that I love them?
~ Corey posted another blog that really made me stop and go "yeah...thats so true..." Read it here...
~ One of the ladies I went to India with is having some possible major health issues. I'm worried, but trying to trust God about it. Pray for her.
~ Is it possible to be addicted to salad? If so, then I think I am.
~ I've decided, after discussing the issue with Jen last night, that I am no longer telling people I am on a diet. Because in my mind it isnt a diet. It never has been. I'm now choosing to call it a healthy lifestyle. I feel great, I feel healthier and I very rarely crave junk. (Although I am currently eating a few dark chocolate M&Ms - there's a good reason for it though...) I have found the thing I crave the most are these zucchini chips from Cooking Light Magazine that a lady I work with gave me the recipe for. They are amazing!
~ I go the Biggest Loser Workout DVD from the library last week. I tried it Tuesday night. Talk about kicking your butt! I am still feeling the after effects! I actually didnt work out last night because of it!
~ We are about to start computer inventory at work. This is gonna be a rough couple of weeks. Every computer that has been moved, swapped or changed has to be noted. I have changed ALOT this year without really realizing this would be coming.
~ 24 starts in just over a month! So excited!
~ New Years is going to be so awesome this year!
~ Three weeks and then I am on vacation for a week and a half! WOOHOO!
~ Thanksgiving weekend was much needed! I got to spend lots of time with my family as well as my awesome friends!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


Random thoughts so far today:

~ I absolutely LOVE Subway! I just had one of the most amazing sandwiches...
~ I'm not a big fan of plain chocolate bars. I tend to avoid them and currently I am trying to avoid chocolate and sweets of all kinds (Why ruin all my hard effort working out...) But today a co-worker brought in a dark chocolate espresso candy bar. She made me try it. Jeez Louise it was amazing. Tasted just like a Cafe Mocha. Definitely not a good thing for me to know...this is when self-control must take over.
~ Is it a full moon yet? Because there are strange things happening with computers lately...
~ Got stared at and practically ogled by a creepy old guy today. Freaks me out. Wonder what will happen as I keep losing weight...will probably get worse...
~ Have even more questions running through my mind than I did yesterday. One God answered though. In kind of a crazy way. Details later.
~ Just watched a news story on about a mother accused of microwaving her baby last year. Even if the mother is innocent, what kind of psychotic person would do that to a child. It hurts my heart.
~ Reading an amazing book - Praise Habit by David Crowder. Only a few chapters in, but it has really gotten me thinking as well as made me laugh. Highly recommend this!
~ Gilmore Girls is on tonight, I am very excited!
~ Tae-Bo is totally kicking my butt. Been in pain a lot lately - Guess that means its working.

Monday, November 27, 2006


I have found myself doing alot of thinking lately.

I tend to read alot. What can I say, I work at a library, I like books.

Only lately every book I read is throwing questions at me right and left. Questions that I can't seem to get past, or move on from, until I figure out my "answers". Questions that keep me pondering after I have put the book down and "moved on" with my everyday life.

But then come the questions my own mind is spewing out at a fairly consistent rate. Questions that I have been running from my entire life. Things I haven't wanted to truly think about. But know I need to.

Thoughts that I am afraid to think.

Knowing in my heart that the end result will be better than the inner world I am living in right now.

The fear of thinking.

But I am going to continue thinking anyway. And trying to answer the questions that are never ceasing.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

More than words

Sometimes a song can express exactly how I feel, when I otherwise could not. Actually, this happens quite often. Today is no different.

This is one of my favorite songs by Rascal Flatts. I may have previously blogged about it, but I am going to once again, because this is the song of my heart right now...enjoy!

"My Wish"

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Little Glimpses of ME

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Wow I look bad when I get up…
2. How much cash do you have on you?Maybe $1.50?
3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"?Floor
4. Favorite planet?I always liked Jupiter because I thought it was pretty
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?Sarah B.
6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?God Bless the USA
7. What are you wearing?My cute old navy pants from the local goodwill!, black turtleneckish shirt and a gray sweater
8. Do you "label" yourself?I think everyone does to an extent
9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing:No clue
10. Bright or Dark Room?I love sunlight, so I am going to say bright. Unless I am watching a movie or trying to sleep, then dark
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey?I think Adam is flippin hilarious
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?Closing my eyes to sleep, thinking, why am I still up again?
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? No idea…I think it was Sarah B. telling me about her back…
15. Where is your nearest 7-11?Right now there is one like 2-3 blocks away
16. What's a word that you say a lot?Bajankatee
17. Who told you they loved you last?My mom
18. Last furry thing you touched?Scruffy
19. How many drugs have you done in the past seven days?None
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?I probably have some old ones in a closet somewhere I never developed…
21. Favorite age been so far?3…I was somewhat independent, loved school, got to play all the time, had nap time, and I was flippin adorable!
22. Type of people who bug you?Liars and people who want something for nothing
23. What is your current desktop picture?A picture of Melissa, Laura, Lindsey, Me, Mike and Rich in KC! With Bentley right in the middle!!
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?“OH I’m so mad right now…”
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly?I’d take the money, hands down…not only could I help a ton of people, if I really wanted to “fly” somewhere I could afford plane tickets!
26. Do you like someone?I like most people…as long as they don’t drive me crazy! (Was that evasive enough for ya…)
27. The last song you listened to?Not sure which song, but it was the Leeland CD I had on in my car on the way to work
28. Last person you called?My boss at the other library
29. Last person/s you got your picture taken with?The KC road trip people!
30. Last person you kissed?My mom
31. Last thing you ate?An awesome salad at lunch!
32. What is currently in your dvd player? A kick-my-butt workout DVD
33. Last person you held hands with? Probably Carson
34. Who are you currently thinking of? The dumb guy who screwed up my checking account by not listening to me!

The Allure of the Button...

I am not a morning person.

When I was a baby and even through the younger years apparently I was.

Not anymore.

In the last few weeks I had a revelation. Its November. I am no where near my new years resolution for a lifestyle change...and I finally got angry enough at myself to do something about it.

I have been working out every day, sometimes twice, for two 1/2 weeks, missing only one day due to the inability to move after the previous evenings workout. I have only had a small amount of chocolate (it was people's birthdays so I joined in the cake fun - no worries, only a small piece) and haven't had chocolate touch my lips in a week now. Nor really junk of any kind. What can I say, I got fed up.

I am a stubborn and determined person. Not always. Just when I hit my breaking point. Some people call it my feisty side. Well, watch out world cuz the feisty side is out full scale!

--Okay, so I know it seems somewhere along this blog I have lost my focus. But stay with me... I really do have purpose here --

I have been trying to get up early in the mornings to work out.
About 40% of the time I have been successful. The other 60. Well...not so successful.

I end up succumbing to the allure of a certain button located at the center of my alarm clock.
The Snooze button.
While I love the person who invented the snooze button, I also find myself perturbed at the fellow, or lady, who invented this button I have a love/hate relationship with. I love to sleep in. But when I need to get up, often times I have found I have utilized the snooze button so many times that an hour of my morning it wasted, and suddenly I am rushing around hoping to still make it to work on time.

Ah the allure of the ever popular snooze button...maybe my next alarm should not include one...

Although then I might just turn my alarm completely off in my sleep...and that might be even worse...

Monday, November 20, 2006

Yes, I may be making the switch... Verizon. Laura, stop jumping up and down and gloating. I know you have been wanting it. I guess I may be swallowing my pride and switching to Verizon here shortly...

What can I say...the have the best plan for my family for the money...

Friday, November 17, 2006

Computers that bite...

Yes, believe it or not, today I got bit by a computer.

Now an everyday person's definition of being "bit" is slightly different from a computer person's defintion of being "bit".

In other words, I got shocked.

My branch manager's computer died this morning - and its her third hard drive. Yes, we have some major power issues.

We weren't sure if the problem came through the power line (which is on a battery backup/surge protector) or if it came through the network line (also going through a freakin' powerful network surge protector)

The network surge protector apparently doesn't protect all that well, because that is what bit me.

I swear our computers are possessed today.

Is it a full moon??

Who I am - on the road to who I am becoming...

Do you ever just stop for a minute and think about who you are, and who you are becoming?

I often think about the person I want to become and try to continue taking steps in that direction. But I don't often stop and look back at the road I have traveled. I forget to pay attention to how far I have come.

Last night was an amazing night at church. As I was driving to, as well as during the beginning of the service, I found myself thinking about everything else I could be doing right then. (Not an easy thing to admit...) I knew this was the wrong mindset to be in so I stopped thinking and chatted with God for a few seconds. I needed to focus and I knew it could only come from him at this point...and He came through...

Last night God finally got through to me - it was something he has been trying to teach me and show me from the very beginning only I never truly understood it. I do now. And I have been prone to getting teary-eyed ever since. Tears of pure joy. Tears of overwhelming humility. Tears of thanks to a Father who never ceases to amaze me with his love. I finally get it.

And then later last evening something else suddenly hit me. I am not the person I was a year ago. My mind set, my thinking, my capacity to love, my relationship with Christ, so many things have changed and I have been so focused on the road ahead of me, I forgot to stop and take time and see how far I have come.

Life is a journey. Some moments are hard, some are easy. Some are painful, some are pure bliss.

You Never Let Go
By Matt Redman

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare A
nd there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You,
still I will praise You

Thursday, November 16, 2006

50 ODD things about ME

50 ODD Things about you

1. Height? 5'4 1/2 with shoes
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? nope
3. Do you own a gun? nope
4. How do you take your tea? normally plain - but Chai is my favorite!
5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"? depends...sometimes yes, sometimes no
6. What do you think of hot dogs? Only good grilled
7. What's your favorite Christmas song? Winter Wonderland - it has sentimental reasons - but I love alot of them!
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Milk or tea
9. Can you do push ups? HA! Hardly! But I am working on it!
10. Is your bathroom clean? pretty much
11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? my grandmother's pearl necklace
12. Do you like painkillers? when I am in pain, sure do!
13. What is the best concert you've been to? wow...thats a toughy...
14. Do you have A.D.D.? sometimes I think I "oh wait, whats that shiny object..."
15. Does anyone in your immediate family have a history of psychosis? uh no
16. Middle Name? Michelle
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?1. Why is it always so cold in the lab. 2. Hope the computers hold their connection this time 3. Can't wait for the holidays!
18. Name the last 3 things you have bought:1. Gas 2. Food this weekend 3. Water
19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:1. Water 2. Milk 3. Coffee with stuff in it
20. Do you think you're attractive? Sometimes - I do think I am cute though
21. Have you ever lied? I think everyone has...
22. Current worry? Waiting for pay day
23. Current hate? Evil
24. Favorite place to be? With people I love, but other than that I love nature. I want to see all the beautiful places in the world!
25. Least favorite place to be? Curled up next to the toilet when you have the flu
26. Where would you like to go? Right now, some place warm - like Arizona so I could see my family too
27. Do you own slippers? Sure do!
28. What shirt are you wearing? A tan one
29. Do you burn or tan? Both
30. Favorite color(s)? They alternate regularly and vary depending on what type of things we are talking about
31. Would you be a pirate? No but Johnny Depp sure is hot as one
32. What is or are your guiltiest pleasure(s)? Chocolate
33. What songs do you sing in the shower? Whatever comes to mind, or whatever I am listening to at the time
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? Not much
35. What's in your pockets right now? Nothin
36. Last thing that made you laugh? Deb or Lisa
37. Last thing that made you cry? A video on the internet
38. Worst injury you've ever had? Split my lip open when I was a kid - had to get stitches
39. How many tv's do you have in your house?1
40. What was your first pet's name? Tiger
41. Who is your loudest friend? Laura or Kate
42. Who is your most silent friend? Rich! But when he talks, listen up cuz its gonna either be important or flipping hilarious!
43. Does someone have a crush on you? No clue
44. Do you wish on shooting stars? Never seen one :(
45. What is your favorite book? Right now I'd say Flashbang
46. Favorite candy? Dark Chocolate
47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding? Not sure, there are so many good ones. Ask me when the time comes...
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? No clue
49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Sleeping
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? Man I kept turning off both alarms again!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


God is a funny guy.

No seriously, he is. Sometimes I just have to stop and laugh when I look at what he has thrown my way.

This last weekend a few of us went roadtripping. We got on our way Thursday evening and we were all kind of "rushed" and impatient about wanting to get to Kansas City to visit our friends. Then the deer incident happened. If you haven't already heard this story, click here for the looong version)

Suddenly our trip was at a stand still - we stayed in a hotel and had no option but to lounge around for a few hours while we waited for the truck to get fixed. And honestly, looking back, I see God all over the situation.

I have two speeds I am most comfortable with in my life. Fast and faster. While I do take my time doing some things, and I take time to be lazy occasionally, normally I pack my schedule so full that I leave out Me-time, God-time and reflection-time. All three of which I need to, well, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally survive. My few lazy times are because I physically can't keep up anymore either. I constantly struggle to say "no".

This trip just followed along with my normal pace of life.

But for those 4 or so hours we lounged around in the hotel, I had no choice but to slow down. For the first time in a while I took my time getting ready in the morning. I wasn't rushing around - it was nice. Even though nothing exceptionally exciting happened during those 4 hours, and I can't put my finger on when exactly something changed inside of me, those four hours changed me.

And here I sit still trying to process my thoughts.

And figure out what to do next.

To every girl...

I stole this from Laura's myspace bulletin because, well, its so true. Read on...

To every girl that is SCARED to put her heart
out there again, because she has been HURT
too many times or so badly.

To every girl that
dresses cute, not skanky.

To every girl who
wants to be called beautiful, not hot.

To every girl that will spend her whole day
looking for the perfect present for you.

To every girl that would die
to have a decent boyfriend.

To every girl who would just once like
to be treated like a princess.

To every girl that cries at night
because of another heartbreak.

To every girl that
just wants to hold hands.

To every girl that
kisses him with meaning.

To every girl who
just wishes he cared more.

To every girl who would just once want a guy to give
their jacket up when they are cold.

To every girl who
just wants him to call.

To every girl who lies
awake at night thinking about him.

To every girl that
just wants to cuddle.

To every girl that
just wants to sleep with him without having sex.

To every girl who shows how much
she cares and gets nothing back.

To every girl that thought
maybe this one could be the one'.

To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff
when she actually doesn't think it is funny.

To every girl who is just looking for that one
and only and is having a rough time along the way.

To every girl that doesn't want a guy who
just plays with her emotions but actually cares
about how she feels.

To every girl who wants
words backed up with actions.

To every girl that fell for all the lies
only to find themselves alone in the end.

To every girl that gave her heart away
to have it shoved back in her face.

To every girl that has faith that 'tomorrow will be a better day.'

And it will be.

Monday, November 13, 2006


...will be here in 6 weeks....any guesses...anyone...well....






Friday, November 10, 2006

Road Trips..never know what you might get...

As many of you might know, some friends and I left last evening to head to Kansas City, Missouri to visit Laura and Melissa for a long weekend. It started out fairly uneventful...little did we know what the future would hold...

While driving on 80/90 we missed our exit onto 80 - Thanks Mike for being the navigator! - so we took a really long route to try to get back. We ended up driving around parts of Gary until Lindsey and I convinced the guys to backtrack (we temporarily forgot that guys dont like getting help with directions). For a short time we were considering off roading to get to the other side of the road. Luckily enough we found another option at the last minute. We assumed this would be the excitement for the day. We were wrong...much more was in store.

Soon after we got on 80, within a matter of 15 seconds a barrel and two cars tried to hit us! Once again, we thought the excitement was over. Wrong again.

After stopping at a gas station that offered "replicas" of cologne in a coin machine that actually sprayed it onto you, we were on the road with Mike heading up the drivers seat.

Then we hit St. Louis - once again - random freak out that we were getting lost - no worries this time, they just have a strange way of splitting the roads up only to meet again a mile later! Thank goodness it was the middle of the night.

With St. Louis out of the way, Rich, Lindsey and I nodded off. Only to awake when the car jerks from an impact. I believe I may have screamed but I could be wrong. Turns out a monster of a deer ran right across the highway and right into our front left side of the truck! It happened so fast Mike didn't even realize what happened at first. We pull over to check out the truck (we thought we might have been dragging it - no worries there either, no deer left behind) and Lindz and I let the guys get out to check the damage. When I saw Rich's face I knew it wasnt good. We got out to discover the bumper was against the front tire and the headlight was hanging out. We call Laura (read her play by play here) and decide to call 911. We all climb back in the car and realize the drivers side door will not open - then Mike says "Guys I think there's blood on the door" EEK!

So we wait and we wait and we wait. The cop #1 shows up. As he looks at the damage we hear him say "There's shit all over the car" - we assume that meant "stuff". No. He really meant shit. The flippin deer not ran out in front of us, the deer left feces behind! Aaahhh!

Lucky enough the cop and the tow truck driver were really nice and arranged where to take the car where it could get fixed quickly (there was a Chevy dealership nearby) and a hotel for us to stay at. The cop gave us a ride (strange to be in the back of a cop car!) to the hotel and gave us the number of where the car was being taken to and what we needed to do. Thankfully the hotel guy was really nice and told us we could check out late given that we had no idea how long we were going to be here in lovely Warrington, Missouri.

So here we sit, in the hotel room, waiting for our car to get done. Thank goodness they could get it in and make it driveable within a few hours!

And amazingly I am able to see God in all this mess. First off, after the tow driver and the cop tell us this happens every night and that this is deer season, the cop says how lucky we were. I was assuming he meant because none of us were hurt. No he meant we were lucky it happened where it did. If we had been 30 miles farther we would have been in BFE, nowhere near a town with NO cell phone service.

This has given us a whole new definition of the phrase "There's a deer..."

Makes you thankful in even the rough patches. Through all of this we have gotten closer and amazingly are still having a good time!

And through all this, Melissa still does not know that Lindsey and I are on our way with the guys...hehe...should be an interesting rest of the to come...

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Long, but interesting, survey...

1.How old will you be in five years? Ug – 31…wow I’m getting old fast!
2. Do you think you will be married by then? Hope so, but life is ironic sometimes
3. How tall are you? 5'4 ½”
4. What do you look forward to the most in the next 6 weeks?
Not sure if I can tell everyone yet…but its something really exciting!
5. What's the last movie you saw? Last night I watched parts of The Lake House again – love that movie!
6. Who was the last person you called? Amber
7. Who was the last person to call you? A patron with a question
8. What was the last text message you received? Sarah B. this morning
9. Do you prefer to call or text? Depends on the occasion – I text if its something small
10. Do you have any pets? No :( But I have my Jada Bean (Amber and Jarrod’s dog who was my first “niece”)
11. What were you doing at 12am last night? reading, but getting ready to turn off the light
12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced? Divorced
13. When is the last time you saw your mom? This morning
14. What color are your eyes? Hazel – but they have looked really green lately
15. What time did you wake up today? Too early! I got up at 634 so I could workout before work
16. What are you wearing right now? A black long sleeve shirt, gray pants and black shoes
17. What's your favorite Christmas song? I have many, but overall, Winter Wonderland due to sentimental value (My dad always sings it to us for the first snow…well, he lives in Florida, so the first snow in Indiana he hears about. Last year he called and left a message singing it)
18. Where is your favorite place to be? I love to be outside when its nice outside, otherwise surrounded by people I love
19. Where is your least favorite place to be? Someplace awkward
20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? I want to travel the world!
21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? Have no idea!
22. Do you tan or burn? Now don’t think I’m weird, but, I tan on some parts of my body and burn on others (yes I know I am a freak!)
23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? The Boogie Man, strangers outside at night – but I never really was afraid of these inside my own home
24. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Probably Deb – she’s always crackin me up!
25. How many TVs do you have? 1
26. How big is your bed? small!
27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? I use many many many computers at work
28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?Um, with…what kind of question is this!
29. What color are your sheets? Right now they are my flannel ones so they are red, white and blue
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two but I can deal with just one
31. What is your favorite season? I love all of them for different reasons, but I think mainly Fall
32. What do you like about fall? Crunchy leaves and all the beautiful colors
33. What do you like about winter? Christmas, the first snow that is on the ground untouched, snowmen and snow ball fights
34. What do you like about the summer? The beach!! Being warm, lake houses, swimming, lounging, getting a tan, road trips!
35. What do you like about spring? New life, the beautiful blooms
36. How many states have you lived in? One
37. How many cities/towns have you lived in? Two
38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet? In the winter, socks, but summer, bare feet!
39. Are you a social person?Most of the time
40. What was the last thing you ate? Lunch
41. What is your favorite restaurant? I love Hana Yori and this little Chinese place in Rochester Indiana
42. What is your favorite ice cream? Varies day to day, but right now Mint Chocolate Chip
43. What is your favorite dessert? Homemade Pecan Pie (with homemade crusts too!)
44. What is your favorite kind of soup?Old fashioned Chicken and Dumplings or Cheddar Chowder my mom makes
45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich? I like Black Raspberry Jam – yum!

(Where's 46???)

47. Do you like coffee? Not plain, but I love Starbucks!
48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?No idea – I normally go through a lot at work and a few at home
49. What do you drink in the morning? Either milk if I have time for breakfast, Apple Juice if I’m sick, but mainly lately Sustain fitness drink
50. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Once I am married, with someone :)
51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? I tend to sleep facing the wall…strange I know…and if there isn’t any “wall” to face, I sleep on my left side
52. Do you know how to play poker? used to, not so much anymore
53. Do you like to cuddle? Yup, love it!
54. Have you ever been to Canada? once when I was a kid
55. Do you have an addictive personality? Um, don’t think so
56. Do you eat out or at home more often? Home

(Where's 57??)

58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? Actually, yes!
59. Do you want kids? Yep
60. Do you speak any other languages? Used to know some Spanish and some Japanese, now I don’t remember much at all
61. Have you ever gotten stitches? Yup when I was a kid and I split my lip open – have the scar to prove it
62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Nope
63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool? Depends…I like both but for different reasons
64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat? Window! Gives you something to lean on to sleep (I know all about trying to sleep on planes after two full days of traveling!)
65. Do you know how to drive stick? Nope – someday though!
66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on? Gifts for other people
67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7? Nope, I take it all off at night
68. What is your favorite TV show? 24 and Gilmore Girls
69. Can you roll your tongue? Nope
70. Who is the funniest person you know? Jess – man she cracks me up!
71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Only when I have had a really rough day!
72. What is the main ring tone on your phone? Something to be proud of by Montgomery Gentry
73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?yup, somewhere
74. What color are your bedroom walls? white
75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth? Yup cuz I tend to walk around and finish getting ready while I am brushing my teeth
76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Open
77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? NEITHER!
78. Do you flirt a lot? Nope
79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Sweet and Sour or Honey if they are McD’s nuggets
80. What is your favorite food? Salad, pasta and chocolate (strange combo of things I know!)
81. Can you change the oil on a car? Nope but I can check it!
82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? Nope, got a warning once though
83. Have you ever run out of gas? Nope!
84. What is your usual bedtime? 1030

(Where's 85?)

86. Do you read the newspaper? At work I do
87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?Relevant and Radiant
88. Best comedian? Bill Engval and Jeff Foxworthy
89. Do you watch soap operas? Nope
90. Do you dance in the car? Heck yea I do!

Looooooong Day

Today is one of those days that seems to drag on forever! It is such a beautiful day outside (sunny and warm with crunchy leaves begging to meet my shoe) and here I am - stuck inside. Sometimes I miss substituting just because you are done by 230. Although I really hated the time I had to get up in the morning as well as how exhausting physically and mentally subbing was.

I guess it feels like the day should be over since I spent the morning working at a very fast pace to fix a few computers and then get a new one in our lab to replace one I had to "steal" a few days ago...I am spent already and its on 3:44...

Oh well - atleast I had another awesome walk during my lunch I said...crunchy leaves...hehe...

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Little Things

I have always been one to appreciate the little things in life...only sometime in the past year I have lost that - and have been working on getting it back since...

I have recently decided to slow down and appreciate all that is going on around me. My pace of life had interfered with my ability to see the little things for their worth. I was becoming a very negative person at times and I missed the old me. And I reached deep inside of me, reached out to God, and found the me that finds happiness in the smallest of things. Just 10 short minutes ago :)

As I was walking on my lunch break I decided to just walk - not talk on my phone, not listen to music, but walk. In the quiet of day. Just me and God. And as I was chatting with God I looked in front of me and stood in awe of what I saw. Beauty. Pure beauty, uninterupted by man. The sun was streaming through the trees, the wind was breezing ever so lightly through the branches, and leaves were gracefully falling to the ground little by little. And it took my breath away.

Thank you Lord for blessing me today with the beauty of your rock!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Creepy Library Guys...

Lately the library has become the "It" place to come after school. The afternoon crowd of students literally comes in the door in a wave. Including, but not limited to, kids running to get her first, some major red-faced huffing and puffing and the all to common shoving in front of each other. Needless to say, this is NOT the staff's favorite time to work the desk.

Today the kids had a half day. Translation: Crazy teens coming in early + our lunch bunch of regulars = CHAOS!

And guess who was the blessed person to work the desk at that time. Yup. Me.

During our large waiting list time, there was a guy who came in. I got him signed up on the waiting list and told him it would probably be close to a half an hour. At this point most normal people would check out the library, wander a bit and check back in later. Not this guy though. He sits down in one of our extra chairs and watches me. After 15 minutes had passed, a chair opened that was closer to the desk yours truly was sitting at. And guess who moved to the newly vacated chair. Yup. You guessed right. Thankfully a computer opened up for him soon after and I was freed of the constant heebeegeebee feeling.

Ironically this guy does not fit the profile of the every day creepy guy (trust me I know!) ... he was young and clean. And while, yes, he had cute taste in jeans, he still, never the less, creeped me out!

Saturday, November 04, 2006

The Coffee Incident

I am not a morning person. Especially on Saturdays.

I am a night person. I tend to stay up later than I should. Especially on Fridays.

Hence the non-Saturday morning person.

If I dont have plans or have to work, I rarely see a Saturday morning unless its a continuation of Friday.

This morning proved my point.

I headed to the local Starbucks on my way in to work. Surprise Surprise I ran into Jess there on her way in to our work as well. I had already gotten my coffee and as we were waiting for hers, she asked if ND was playing today. I opened my sweatshirt to show my ND shirt off, and somehow (she remembers better than I) smacked my coffee with my hand and spilled my entire Grande Maple Machiato all over the Starbucks counter. Jess and I laughed, and I said this is why I shouldnt work Saturday mornings. I went back to the cashier to by another and this amazing woman says to me "He's already making you another and I'm not charging you" I thanked her profusely and stepped aside to wait for my 2nd coffee of the morning. When it was done the guy sits it down and says "Now don't spill this one" (No worries, he said it with a smile)

You have no idea how dumb I felt - I would have carried more only I was too tired for it to truly register in my brain...

The upside to all this - they made me a Venti instead to replace my awesome is that!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Update on Survey of Threes...

Update on Survey of Threes...

I remembered one of my dumbest moments...can't believe I neglected to include this one...

My ex - from Kentucky - three words - "There's a deer"

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Survey of Threes...

Three things
Three things that scare me
1: snakes!!!
2: losing people I love
3: not portraying who I am well

Three people who make me laugh
1: Carson - man does that kid crack me up!
2: Jessica - now thats one crazy chick!
3: Hailey Bean

Three things I love
1: Chocolate
2: Mail!
3:a. 24
3.b. Gilmore Girls

Three things I hate
1: People I love being so far away
2: Lying
3: People who take and take but never give

Three things I don't understand
1: Library patrons

Three things I love in a Girl/Boy
1: Eyes and smile
2: Loves kids
3: Strength - not just as in the physical either, although that is nice too...

Three ways to best describe my personality
1: random
2: responsible (man is that boring)
3: chocolate-esque

Three things I cant do
1: Wear a shoe on my head
2: Sing an Opera in Italian
3: Drink water while standing on my head

Three favorite movies
1: Empire Records
2: The Goonies
3: Little Mermaid

Three Goals for future
1: Take my children to India
2: Be financially stable
3: Be a mom

Three of your dumbest moments
2: Telling my sister to cut my hair - I was only 2 and it was really bad...
3: I am not admitting to a third one (well, actually, I can't think of a third one right now, although I know there are hundreds lurking in my past...)
Three People I am tagging
1. Melissa
2. Robin
3. Jessica

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Heaven in my mouth...

Hershey's NEW
Chocolate Truffle

Absolutely amazing.
Everything is right in the world
for the brief moment this
is melting in your mouth.


I miss India. A lot. Right now, as I type, there is another team from GCC most likely laying their heads down to sleep after a long, hard day of manual labor. They are helping to rebuild homes in the Tsunami zone, and it sounds like they are having an amazing time.

I have found that one of the highlights of my day is to log onto their blog site to read the stories and see the pictures of what they are accomplishing as well as who they are surrounded by. It only truly hit me 10 minutes ago how much my heart is aching for India. And it was brought on by one of the most random things – beef jerky.

When all of us were packing for India, we stocked our bags with all sorts of non-perishable food items in the case of there wasn’t much we could/want to eat, or if we were hungry while on the trip to or from, we would be all set. Ironically, the only time in India we busted out the food was on our last night – we all got back to the hotel after the restaurant had closed and we couldn’t order pizza again (the nice man wasn’t working the desk that night…) so we dined on tuna, beef jerky, peanut butter and crackers, nuts and assorted granola bars. And we thought it was great!

And I can tell the team currently in India now feels the same. They just blogged about a care package of food that was sent with them made by a woman from GCC…

Its kinda crazy how something like beef jerky could pull my heart strings and bring back all kinds memories of my time in India.

I have to go back….hopefully sooner rather than later…


Normally when you see a sign that says no shirt, no shoes, no service, a certain visual comes to mind.

Caring your shoes in with you doesn’t really match up.

And yet that is what I witnessed today. A man carrying his shoe. Now technically that does not go against a no shirt, no shoes no service policy, nor does it contradict that shoes are required at the library.

Unfortunately it seems as if even the most basic of signs may now in our society require “fine print”. Such as, items must be worn on the appropriate body part…

After formulating these thoughts and opinions in a matter of seconds, I then notice the man has a walking cast on his foot and so truly cannot have his shoe on.

Then comes the question

Does he feel he needs to carry his shoe with him in order to not violate the shirt and shoes rule? or Is he wishful thinking that if he carries his shoe with him, his foot might heal faster thus ensuing a need for a shoe at any given moment? or Is there truly no reason or method to his madness leaving me, completely disconcerted.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Blonde moment...

So a few days ago I was trying to multi-task. Most of the time I do this quite well - I think its the teacher in me... Anyway, I was chatting on the phone with a friend, LAURA!, as well as trying to get my dinner together - getting a glass of ice water, getting a plate, etc.

Well, about 10 minutes later Laura and I are still talking (surprise surprise) when the following turn of events occured..

Laura in midsentence...

Me - "Uh, Laura, I have an ice cube in my pocket"

Laura - bursts of laughter echo in the phone... "What?!"

Apparently when I filled my glass of ice a piece fell into the pocket of my hoodie, stayed there for 10 minutes, and then when I put my hands into my pockets, there it was. And sadly, it took me a few seconds to think about how I could possibly have ended up with an ice cube in my pocket.

It was one of those had to be there moments...ask was hilarious...

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Survey...yep, I'm killin time...

30 unknown facts/secrets about yourself:
1. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship.I don't even remember anymore
2. When was the last time you shaved your legs?Yesterday
3. What were you doing this morning at 8am?sleeping! WOOHOO!
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?Trying to fix a printer and cutting up the pads of two of my fingers
5. Are you any good at math?yup
6. Your prom night?UG - quite a story there...
7.Have you ever met anyone famous?a few
8. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school?yup
9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?Most of them
10. Last thing received in the mail?probably a bill or junk mail
11. How many different beverages have you drank today?two - Diet coke and milk
12. Do you ever leave messages on people's voicemail?all the time
13. What was your very first concert?I think it was the Newsboys, but I could be wrong
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?yup - I have a picture of it too :)
15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?An expander - its painful just to talk about
16. What is out your back door?at home - a yard
17. Any plans for Friday night?Many
18. Do you like the ocean?YES!!!
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas?yup
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?yup - I went to PHM schools so Planetarium visits were every year, normally twice a year
22. Something you are excited about?Can't write it on here...if you ask though, I may tell :)
23. What is your favorite flavor of JELL-O?Um...probably Raspberry
24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?Nope, I only have one grandparent left too
25. Describe your keychain:I have a few of them
26. Where do you keep your change?In my wallet
27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?Last Tuesday when I taught a class, and then tonight when I teach another one
28. What kind of winter coat do you have?A super cute red and white one that is down filled to its sooo warm!
29. What was the weather like on your graduation?I have no idea
30. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?closed

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Tara's Birthday and Hailey Bean

Here are some pictures from Tara's Birthday...yes singing and a huge hat were involved at Hacienda...Hailey had a ball wearing Mike's hat as well as Tara's Birthday hat...

Posers, Fakers and Wannabes...

As I was shelving today at work, a task I don't normally do, but needed to "mix" it up a bit, I found the book Posers, Fakers & Wannabes (Unmasking the Real You) by Brennan Manning and Jim Hancock. I have only read 4 pages - for those of you who aren't big readers, this pretty much means I have yet to make it all the way through the Introduction - and already thoughts are formulating and processing inside this crazy head of mine...since time is limited right now I leave you with the opening quote -

"to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting." - e.e. cummings