Monday, February 27, 2006

Sometimes I think I'm a blonde...

This morning I was in a hurry while getting ready...I was multitasking - which is normally a great thing for me...Not so this morning. As I am curling my hair, the curling iron slipped. Yes slipped. Right onto my shoulder/neck area (you know the spot where its not quite your shoulder but its not really your neck anymore either). Of course it didnt hit where my shirt was covering. It hit the small amount of skin exposed. I immediately put an ice pack on it, hoping to minimize the damage, but I had to leave for work a few minutes later. Only to start the drive and feel immense pain and discomfort coming from under my coat. I searched my car and A-HA! found a bottle of water left overnight in my car which I immediately placed on the burn - aaahhh comfort. I then realized how dorky I looked driving down the road holding a water bottle to my neck inside my coat! But at this point, comfort took precedence over vanity. I now have a nice two inch burn, thankfully, NOT on my neck. I could not imagine having to try to explain THAT one to everyone! It's definitely a Monday...

Friday, February 24, 2006

4 Ways To Ruin Your Life

Last summer I listened to a CD of the XXXChurch guys when they were speaking at Mars Hill. I have to say I have never listened to a message as many times as I have this one. Everytime I listen to it I always think "I have to blog about this!" And, surprise, surprise, I never have...well, I have decided today's post will be the day I am going to blog about The Four Ways to Ruin Your Life (As seen from the XXXchurch guys Mike and Craig)...

The first way to ruin your life is to believe the grass is greener on the other side. That life without God is somehow better than life with God - and making deals with God. I have to admit, I have done this and sometimes still try to make deals with God - such as - well, once this happens God, then I will be faithful in all aspects of my life...I can definitely see though how this could ruin your life.

The second way to ruin your life is to believe you are strong enough to fight temptation with just willpower. The number one way to combat against temptation is community. We need people to hold us accountable, encourage us and help us get back up when we fall down. God made us to live in community and the enemy would like nothing better than to keep us apart. I have been blessed with some of the most amazing friends - I know many people think this, but I truly do...I have always had lots of friends, but there was a period of my life where I thought I could deal with things on my own or just with God's help. I was wrong and now there are things I wish I could go back and erase. I wish I would have had friendships like I have now - friendships that love me for me, support me in the things I have to deal with, call me out when I need to be called out. I hope everyone is able to have friendships like this, they are definitely worth the time!

The third way to ruin your life is to "just wing it" when it comes to integrity. We have to be real. We have to live what we believe it. We have to live our lives with integrity. And in order to do so, we have to identify what they called SUDS (seemingly unimportant decisions) - the small compromises that build upon each other that will eventually lead to a larger compromise. Man I think this happens to all of us - a few little things don't seem like much, and then all of a sudden, WHAM, you have gotten yourself in a place you never would have ever imagined being. I think this is another place where community comes in - people to help catch you in the little compromises you may be making...while I sometimes hate being called out on things, I sure do need it sometimes, and always appreciate it later! To live our lives with integrity we have to do things that help maintain our integrity, not hinder it. A good piece of advice they gave was to also have a plan for your own integrity. To write out things you need to do on a daily basis in order to continue living a life of integrity. I know I need to write down how I want to live my life. I tell people how I want to live my life, I talk to God about it, but I know I need to physically write it down to cement it for me.

And the fourth way to ruin your life is if you screw up, then just give up. If you're going through hell right now, don't stop. Keep going. God will redeem all the things from our pasts. The memories may not go away, but through the cross we get to leave the baggage, the fear, the guilt, the shame. Don't give up even though it may seem easier. It still blows me away sometimes that God wants to give us fresh starts. And will. Just two days ago some of the memories of my past came back - and the enemy tried to bring the shame back too - but thankful I called on God, and He reminded me that I gave all that up. I don't have to live with it hanging on my back. He took it from me and He will see me through, like He always has...

Man, that was a long blog, but it serves as a good reminder to me of how I want to live my life.

** And to all my loving, wonderful, friends...thank would be harder without the relationships we all have with each other - even those we don't get to see often :)

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Weird Things Are Happening At The Library...

Since this is my 100th post (!!!!) I have decided I need to once again blog about the crazy things that occur at the library... In no particular order....

Yesterday I encountered a man using the internet with a very, shall we say, interesting was a mohawk mullet - I like to call it a combo deal.

A man reeking of alcohol had the nerve to call me unhelpful and rude when I wasn't able to fix a spelling on a website and then required him to pay for the color copy he just had to have...

Jessica had a crazy old man in love with her - little did we know how bad it was until after she moved to Illinois. He came in asking about her since he hadn't seen her car lately!

I had an old, black woman hit on me a few weeks ago - talk about the heebeegeebees...

A few months back there was a guy who was talking to the voices in his head and the police had to be called.

Over Christmas break I had to tell a man he was not allowed to ever use the computers again, which he already knew, and he started yelling and leaning over the desk at me! Thank goodness for the desk!

Multiple people I work with have had chairs thrown at them when a patron got angry.

Last year someone I work with was helping this crazy lady and a cockroach crawled off of her and scurried across our desk! Talk about creepy!

Many of us have had creepy guys staring at us through the windows and while we are working at the desk - heebeegeebees again!

One morning Patty was pulling into our parking lot and in between the bushes was a man relieving himself - apparently he was as frightened to be caught as she was to see him!

I could go on for hours...and I am sure there are even better ones I just have blocked outta my mind!

For those of you interested, go here and here for some library humor....

Need Opinions...

So I was reading this article that got emailed to me through one of my subscriptions, and I was curious what everyone thought about it...

Here it is...

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


I just read a poem that spoke right to my heart. It's amazing all the different ways God chooses to use to get through to me.

by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

My Lame Sex Life??

Yes people, it is about time I blogged about the well talked about billboards and overflow of craziness since. I just have to say that I am proud to call Granger Community Church my church and that they are willing to put themselves out there to get ridiculed in the name of Christ. Whether people agree or not, I believe we are reaching people - people who may otherwise have lost all faith in churches or that a church could ever possibly be relevant and apply to their lives.

Here's a nice, sarcastic piece of a blog that makes me smile...


I just read an article from that made me ashamed Christianity. There is a church that claims "that God killed the soldiers because they fought for a country that embraces homosexuals" and choses to proclaim their beliefs by protesting at the funerals of these soldiers. I am feeling so many emotions towards these people right now. Anger, frustration, sadness, disgust. I am ashamed to be lumped in the same category as them. But the positive spin, the reason why this story is on CNN, is the group that is combatting the hateful and hurtful words thrown at the families and friends of the soldiers who gave their lives for our country. A group of motorcyclists called the Patriot Guard travel around to shield the families from these horrid displays. They stand across the street from the protesters supporting our troops and the families. They are combatting hate with love - they are the ones who may not be Christians but are loving as Christ would want us to - they are sacrificing time and comfort to often stand out in the cold to comfort hurting people.

Thank you to the Patriot Guard. Thank you for supporting our soldiers.

And even more important, thank you to all the military putting their lives on the line to keep us safe, to protect our country, for doing what many of us can not. I am proud to be an American, and I am proud to say I know and love many military men and women! Thank You!

To read this story, click really is worth the time :)

Sunday, February 19, 2006


Tonight I realized how completely and utterly confused I am about my life. It was one of those nights where you finally have time to stop and think - and then the thinking causes pain and confusion.

There are so many aspects of my life that I don't know if I am heading in the right direction. I don't know if I am truly honoring God with all that I do - I have found myself wondering if I am either convincing myself that I am taking the steps God wants me to or if I really am. Wondering if I am really making a difference...if I am supposed to be doing more. If I am supposed to continue on the road I am on or make some minor or perhaps drastic changes. Spiritually I know I am taking steps in the right direction - but with my every day life I wonder if I am doing what is easy or if it is truly what God wants. As I was telling Lindsey tonight, I would like a flashing neon sign from God...I don't need all my questions answered but one sure would be nice when I feel like I have so many things in my life I am unsure of...

The ironic thing about this is that these thoughts were spurred on by CMT (Country Music Television) - songs like Little Rock, I Hope You Dance, The Dance - all songs that really get me thinking about life. Songs that make a difference to people. Songs that inspire me to do more.

I think part of what has brought this on is dealing with the deaths of my loved ones. The songs I Hope You Dance and The Dance are both songs that comforted me when my friend Bob died tragically in a car accident almost 5 years ago at the age of 19. Bob's birthday is coming up next month and this is never a good time of year for me...I always start to re-evaluate my life - the worth of my life - if I could be doing more - am I truly living life to the fullest

I just wish I had some answers...sometimes this Walk By Faith stuff is not so easy...

Friday, February 17, 2006

In Need...

I am in dire need of a mind isn't functioning as well as it used to! My co-worker Deb and I decided we are going to go to Cancun and bill it to the library (too bad that would never happen!) Then I worked out a plan to win the Powerball this weekend (too bad I don't gamble or play the lottery) So now I am back to square one!

My alternative for the weekend since its too cold to be outside is to curl up in a warm blanket with a good book, and cup of Chai and bake some homemade bread... *sigh* I miss warm weather...

Thursday, February 16, 2006

A few of my favorite things...

Lately God and I have had some tension between us...okay, so it was pretty much just me since God never stopped loving me...but last night and then this morning God and I got back on good terms. So I must say I am pretty happy right now. And since its dreary outside which ordinarily would effect my mood, I decided I was going to randomly post about some of my favorite things - this may be short, this may be long, its random so I have no idea what might fly outta my head through my fingers and onto my blog. So without further ado...

A few of my favorite things...

- Diet Coke
- The album Lifesong by Casting Crowns
- My amazing, insane, wonderful, hilarious, loving friends!
- Road trips
- The beach
- The Subway near my work (oooo I had it for lunch and it was the most perfect sandwich *sigh*)
- My Chicago Bears hoodie (I wear it all the time!)
- The Chicago Bears!
- Hailey Bean
- My nephew :)
- Carson
- Many many many many kids!!
- Some of the people I work with
- My family who puts up with my ups and downs and loves me anyway!
- The Grand Canyon
- The ocean
- The wonder of all God's creations
- The zoo!
- Libraries
- Haagen-Dazs light Mint Chip ice cream (ooooo baby its gooood!!!)
- My amazing family I have gained at GCC
- Julie
- Bev
- The Coneys
- Chocolate
- Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper (ma na ma na)
- Nichole Nordemann's album Brave
- Empire Records
- The Goonies!
- Christmas
- Spring
- Reading
- My cute Bible
- The White Sox
- Getting mail
- Cowboys
- Big Trucks
- Cowboys in Big Trucks :)
- Worship
- Women's Retreats
- nevaeH
- Noomas
- Chai Tea
- Kohl's
- Family Christian
- Hallmark
- Ice cold water after a hard workout or hot day
- A warm bed on a chilly morning
- My teddy bear from when I was a baby
- My baby blanket
- Flip Flops
- Having my hair played with
- Rocking babies
- Blogs
- Hugs!
- How awesome God truly is
- The smell of rain
- Playing in the rain
- Snow fights

Wow that turned out to be a long list - trust me I have more but my lunch hour is over and I must go replace and swap printers...

"May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you." Psalm 32:22
"But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation." Psalm 13:5

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Guys doin it up right...

Back in December the ladies in our group decided to treat the guys to a Christmas Dinner - we all got dressed up and had a great time! Then in January we were told to keep Valentine's Day open - the guys were doing to treat us ladies to a night. I must admit, some of us were a little nervous about how this was all going to pan out...we needn't have worried. The Guys did it up right!!

To start, the ladies were told to meet at Laura's at 7 and to dress nicely - I must say there is something about dressing up that completely raises the confidence/self-esteem level in a room full of ladies! I gotta say, we all looked goooood! Can we say HOTTIES!?!

So around 7 a few of the guys showed up...we weren't told where we were going and we were ushered outside in small groups to cars waiting by the front door with the doors being held open and then shut for us! We were chauffered to the Signature Inn where more guys were awaiting our arrival and once again our car doors were opened for us! We stood around chatting and taking pictures. Then we were shown to a room lit with candles with the message "Happy Valentine's Day HOTTIES" ! The places were set for us and we were told to chose a place to sit and the guys would be serving us! We were waited on all evening!

Next we headed down the hall to the pool area for some water fun! (No worries, the guys pre-warned us so we would be prepared!!) Of course once in the water, I was slowly adjusting to the temperature when Mike started heading towards me saying I should probably go under - at this point I fled and dove under myself before being taken down! Then not long later I kinda softly kicked Aaron while he was underwater - when he came up I knew by the look in his eye I was in trouble...after a short chase around the pool (With LINDSEY of all people blocking my way!!) I got taken under! What is it with guys dunking me! (Here I thought I would be okay since Jon wasn't around like at Lake Michigan where I got taken down not once, but twice by Jonny boy!) It was all still fun though!

We have lots of pictures on multiple cameras so more will be coming later...but I will be posting some on here sporadically!

Sooo - to the guys ---Well done! You did it up right and we all had a great time! Guess it's our turn now again :)

Standing around taking pictures...

Me and Naomi - can we say HOTTIES! What can I say, we clean up nice!

Me and Jess - once again, HOTTIES!

The guys playing chicken - believe it or not Rich and Jeremy beat the Preston Boys - twice!!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Love...and stuff....

The last week has been a roller coaster of emotion. I think I have felt practically every emotion possible including the absence of emotion. I have felt so close to God one day and so far away from Him the next. I have struggled between clinging to Him and pushing Him away. I think I may have done this with friends as well this week - I haven't opened up the doors of my soul this week when I needed to...some I have, but there are a few that normally sit wide open that have been boarded up and nailed down. I know I did this because I have a problem being weak sometimes - I had been making progress on allowing myself to be weak and let others hold me up. Then last Monday came...and when I was ready to be weak, I wasn't allowed to...I was told to hold in my emotion and be strong - at a time when I wanted nothing more than to be weak and to let someone else hold me up. I put up a wall that night...sure throughout the week many emotions trickled out around the doors and I cracked some others, but the majority of my emotion stayed locked inside. At Bev's funeral service I had a few moments where I almost became hysterical, but I kept it in (this time because I did not want to draw any extra attention to myself) I didnt realize how much this was truly effecting me until this morning as I was walking out to my car to head to work...I felt numb. I felt no emotion. At all. I have never felt numb before in my life and I thought it would scare me...but I was too numb to even feel fear. So I decided to pray.

I haven't done much praying since Friday and I haven't done much Bible study either...I was kinda angry at God and just didn't want to converse with Him - and all it did was hurt me. So this morning on the way to work, I talked to God...and tears appeared. I am sad. And I realized that it's okay. The crazy thing is that once I accepted and admitted to God that I missed Bev and I was sad, I started to feel better. I started to feel happier. I started remembering what all I have to be thankful for - and I started to remember Bev - and our times together and conversations...I wasn't the Jeanna she knew, the Jeanna everyone knows...I had become some other person since yesterday, and I was done. I love the real Jeanna. I love who I am (even with the things I would like to change) And so I am going to look forward from this point on...Bev wouldn't want it any other way, God wouldn't want it any other way, and I don't want it any other way.

So in light of it being Valentines Day, I decided to post a few pictures of some of the things I love.

I have some of the most amazing people in my life and I thank God for each and every one of you! Thank you all for being amazing support systems for me this last week - you all helped get me through. I love you all! Happy Valentines Day!

"Good friends are like don't always see them, but you know they are always there."

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

My friend...

This is my friend Bev. I miss her.
But I know she is having a ball
with God.
Thursday night at New Community
just won't be the same knowing
I won't have the opportunity
to see her smiling face.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

A loss

My heart hurts.

Yesterday I got some devastating news. One of the people who played such a major role in my journey at GCC passed away unexpectedly. One Sunday after only attending GCC for a short time, Jessica and I were seated waiting for the service to begin. An adorable gray-haired lady walked up and asked with a huge smile on her face if she could sit by us. That was the first time I ever met Bev Miller almost 3 years ago. We thought it was great that we had the same last name and she said she had a niece named Jeanna (tho spelled differently) and that she would never forget my name. She never did either.

In 2004 I decided to get baptized with hundreds of other people. My mom had asked if it was okay if she didnt attend since she was at my first baptism as a baby. I didn't mind - I was making this choice, and it was between me and God. When I arrived at the registration table at the baptism, there stood Bev and Jim Miller. As Bev signed me in she asked if my family was there, I said no but I was okay with that. Bev then said she was going to be my mom for my baptism and would be in the hug zone waiting for me. As I came out of the water, there she was with a huge smile on her face and an enormous hug for a little lady. Ever since that day she thought of me as family. She believed in me. She supported me. She loved me.

Bev loved and loved well. She loved as all Christians should love.

There is now a void in my life. My heart hurts for one more day with her, one more conversation, one more hug, one more smile.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Loud and Clear

Last night GCC hit the new hot topic of Blogs...I love blogging - its not only a way to keep in contact with the ongoings of people's lives, its a reflection tool for me (and at times a venting tool as well...) While I definitely was reminded of the importance of journaling, which I have slacked some with lately, something else hit me harder - Something I have been struggling with but not wanting to face up to - Something we all often end up slaves to - busyness. My life lately has been the busiest it has ever been with the exception of my student teaching months. I feel like I am running and I can't stop or I will spin out of control. Work has been extremely stressful lately with tons of new information constantly thrown at me to learn, remember and apply. Life at work is moving a hundred miles and hour with an end really far off in the distance. I have been trying to take time to recharge and it never lasts me long.

Then last night one of the first things Rob talked about was space. The importance of space. 3 things Rob said really hit home and made me realize I need to hit the brakes - before I fly right by God...Here's what Rob had to say

- When you overfill your life, its no longer fulfilling. (Its like a twinkee, if you squeeze in too much filling, its gonna pop)
- Recommit yourself to space.
- Without space there's no rhythm. (Music without rests and space sounds really bad!)

So God, I'm going to re-schedule my life. There will be time for rest and there will be time for you. I hear you God - loud and clear.