Thinking

Sometimes I think bad thoughts. Surprising I know. Most people won't admit it. Most Christians won't admit it. But we all know it's true.

Lately the vengeful side of my thought life has been flaring up. Yep, there are certain people who those thoughts are directed toward. Certain circumstances making me want to take action for the wrong reasons. And for a brief moment it is very alluring.

And it got me thinking...I was brought up with morals and values. I was taught the difference between right and wrong. And I knew there were consequences for making bad choices. That foundation is enough to keep me in check.

To some extent.

But what about the side of revenge that isn't black and white, right or wrong. The place where you are choosing to live your life to spite someone. The place that you can rationalize your actions as moral because you aren't "purposefully" hurting someone, it just so happens to occur as an after effect. Where does this fit in?

When I look around I see those kind of choices being made everyday, and people believing it's okay because they have convinced themselves they didn't actually "do" anything to hurt anyone. That it just kind of happened.

And I realized those bad thoughts will happen from time to time. That's our sinful nature. The difference is how we choose to act on those thoughts. I choose not to purposefully hurt others, even if it is just an after effect. My reason? God calls us to love others. He says it more times in the Bible than I can count. He doesn't say to even the playing field. He doesn't say it's okay to hurt others if they have hurt you. He asks us to love. We have been given an amazing gift called grace. But it isn't just for us...it's for everyone. So, even when it's not easy, I am choosing love.

And I am grateful I have grace if I sometimes screw it up...

I have some of the most amazing friends.

I'm not just saying that either.

Want some proof? Here ya go -

I realized after Christmas that my favorite coffee creamer would soon be disappearing off the shelf - when I was out Wednesday with a friend we started looking for it and couldn't find it. I was distressed. Yesterday I got a call from her. She was at the grocery store a little further away and found it. She bought be two bottles.

My best friend gave me a "perfect" Christmas gift yesterday. It served as a reminder of something I needed to hear.

I hate cleaning off my car when it snows. It's cold, you get wet and when you have places to go it's just down right frustrating. One of my friends remembered how I jokingly wanted a chauffer to solve all my winter woes and came by my work when I got off to clean off my car for me. Granted, I had already done it since I didn't know her plan, but she did it for me later on after we had run around some.

While hanging out and chatting with a friend I was cold from my pants being damp around my ankles (I don't recommend wearing your comfy, big jeans when it's slushy outside. They get soaked). She got me a down comforter and made sure I was covered up and warm. Sometimes it's just nice to have someone take care of you.

Believe me now? Yep, they are great! I'm a very lucky chica!

Wisdom

Sometimes kids are smarter than we could ever imagine. This is a video made from a phone call a 13 year old boy made to his local radio station. It's been viewed over 4 1/2 million times on YouTube in less than two months. I can't even begin to describe how incredible it is, or how much I needed to watch it right when I did.

Still Amazed

This week I got to experience one of the best Christmas Eve services ever.

And I am not exaggerating.

Christmas Eve at GCC completely rocked my socks off! I can't even point out which part was best - everything about it was done so well. Don't believe me? Well you can watch it online and see for yourself. One word of warning though, the web doesn't do it glory. Nothing can match the intensity, emotion and complexity of the experience.

This last weekend was pretty amazing too - guess what...you can catch that online too!

Dampers the Mood...

After putting in a few hours at work this morning, I made the commitment to head to the gym. Now before you go giving me props for working out on Christmas Eve, I must tell you I really had no choice. I just purged my "bigger" clothes. And given the wonderful goodies (and junk) I've been consuming the last few days, okay maybe weeks, there was no option. Yesterday I slept in and didn't go, tomorrow probably won't happen, that left today. Needless to say, my heart wasn't exactly into it - didn't want to be there - almost kept driving - heard that annoying little voice in my head "Do you really want your butt to get bigger?"

So I hit the treadmill. About halfway through my workout as I am perspiring greatly, wishing I would have gone home and taken a nap instead of going to the gym, I notice it. The new person next to me has an interesting aroma and it just hit my nose. And I wanted to say "forget it" to my workout and get the heck outta dodge. Let me just say, this was not a "normal" gym smell. There are certain smells you expect at a gym - sweat, disinfectant, powerade - but this was not. It was the smell of old garlic permeating someone so deep that their pores exude it. Mix that with the normal gym smells and it's a lethal combination.

I think I deserve a reward for finishing my workout and not vomiting all over the machine.

Love this!

I originally saw this on Lindsay's blog but since have seen it all over the blog world. Take the few minutes, stick with it, trust me, it's awesome!

My Day Thus Far....

• 7:ish in the morning - hear sister scream. Jump outta bed - think house is caving in. Turns out she saw someone she knew on the news and wanted mom to see.
• 7:ish plus 30 seconds - head back to bed really ticked off. Grumbling under my breath. Wishing death on the one who woke me up from my slumber. Realize that would take to much energy. Curl into bed somewhat bitter.
• 8:30 - wake up with horrible sinus headache. Feel like my head is going to explode. Try to blow my nose. Nothing happens. Can't breathe with my nose. Would kiss someone if they could make it better.
• 8:45 - manage to go back to sleep. Still can't breathe.
• 9:00 - workman starts sawing to fix the door on our family room. Thinking bad thoughts. Fall back asleep.
• 9:45-10:30 - on and off sleep. Wanting nothing more than to stay in bed. Want sleep. Hoping sleep will ward off the cold and sinus thing.
• 10:45 - get outta bed knowing sleep isn't working. Take drugs. Very grumpy
• 11:30 - drugs have kicked in - put on Christmas music and begin wrapping. Feeling better. No longer wishing death on certain people.
• 12:15 - decide to finally clean bedroom. Find fun stuff. Feel good about purging clothes that are too big.
• 2:00 - turn on computer to start doing some work from home.
• 2:05 - figure using a mouse instead of touchpad would make life easier for the task at hand.
• 2:06 - Wireless mouse about to get thrown across the room
• 2:09 - get mouse to work. Not working well.
• 2:10 - wonder how anyone uses a mouse without a back button on it
• 2:12 - realize how odd of a day it has been already. Decide to blog. Hoping rest of the day gets better. Contemplating going to the gym in a few hours to work off frustration and Christmas goodies.