My battle

I've had a rough month. Things have been a roller coaster in a lot of areas in my life...yesterday was my breaking point. I had taken the day off to get caught up on cleaning and such, only to wake up to pink eye. Yes you read that right, pink eye. Luckily enough my doctor called in medication without having to see me (the last thing I needed was another co-pay after just going last week)

As much as I hate to admit this, I did nothing yesterday. I was as close to a depression that a person can get without actually hitting it. I didn't answer my phone for hours, I didnt respond to text messages. I didn't do anything but lay on the couch and watch tv. Even some of my favorite shows didn't make me happy. I actually didn't want my family to come, I wanted to be alone, but when they did come home I started to feel a little better. Funny isn't it how sometimes the things we think we want, really aren't what's good for us or what we want after all... Eventually I started calling people back, and answering my phone when they called, but it was still an effort for me.

As I was going to bed last night I realized that through all this I should be reading my Bible more. Through all these rough times this month, I haven't hardly picked up my Bible. I have been reading some spiritual books that I have got me thinking, but even in the last few days I had stopped reading those too. I had cut myself off from my lifeline - my "Father" - without even realizing it. That in itself was a scary thought. How did I get so far gone in such little time? Had I taken steps backwards or was I just stagnant? Immobile? Not moving at all? It was no wonder I haven't been happy - who would have been...

On my drive to work I finally put all the pieces of the puzzle together - I finally felt the truth of what was going on around me. Satan was fighting for me. There was, and is, a battle going on right now. Only I am not alone and I will not lose. God will not lose. And I just need to keep fighting, knowing that I am not fighting this alone. I have my Father fighting for me, and I know I have my closest friends fighting for me as well. Watch out Satan - you are about to lose. I have some pretty awesome people on my side.