Who Am I?

As I eluded to earlier, I've been processing this question a lot lately:

Who am I when no one is looking?

Somewhere in my teenage years, I lost "me". I lost who I really was at my core. It was just easier to feel accepted if I became a mirror of those people around me, because then, the chance of rejection was less. Sadly enough, I stayed that way for way too long. So much so that when asked, I didn't always know what my favorite tv show, or song artist, or movie, or restaurant even was anymore.

One day I sat down, and inspired by the movie Runaway Bride, I made a list. I figured out what I truly liked, and, what I really didn't like at all. Very sad that it had to come to that, but yet that is where my journey began. It was the first time I really thought about who I am if no one is around.

Since then I've revisited that question many times, only each time on a different level.

Most recently I stopped to think about my relationship with Christ, and decided it was time for a little "check-up". Here's a few of the questions I took the time to stop and ask myself:

• Who am I when no one is looking?
• Who do I, or what do I worship when no one is around?
• Am I fully leaning on Christ when the sun is set, the computer is off, the phone is silent and it's just me and him?
• Do I take my own advice? Is He my strength during times of sorrow? Do I praise Him in my times of joy? Do I praise Him in my times of sorrow?
  
• Is He my number one priority in a "me-centered" world?
• Do I have faith in His plan? If I pray for rain, do I go out and buy an umbrella?
• Am I just going through the "motions" when others are around? Or is this truly who I am at my core?

These are the questions I've asked myself, and yes, I have my answers. I have a pretty good idea of who I am, where I am at, and where I need to be. We are all a work in progress - and I gotta say, I'm proud of how far God has brought me. A few years ago, my answers to these questions would have been different. And a few years from now, they will be as well.

Sometimes it's worth the time to stop and re-evaluate who you are when no one is looking. Because that's the person God sees. That is who you are at your core. Choose to be the real you. And if you hide "you" because you're ashamed, then take steps to change it. Yes it seems like a long road ahead, but take it from someone who was so lost just a few years ago, it's so worth it.